June 23, 2025

๐–๐ก๐ฒ ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐Œ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐๐ž ๐’๐š๐›๐จ๐ญ๐š๐ ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐Ž๐ฐ๐ง ๐’๐ฎ๐œ๐œ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ (๐€๐ง๐ ๐‡๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐–๐ˆ๐ ๐„๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ƒ๐š๐ฒ) ๐Ÿš€

๐–๐ก๐ฒ ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ ๐Œ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐๐ž ๐’๐š๐›๐จ๐ญ๐š๐ ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐˜๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐Ž๐ฐ๐ง ๐’๐ฎ๐œ๐œ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ (๐€๐ง๐ ๐‡๐จ๐ฐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐–๐ˆ๐ ๐„๐ฏ๐ž๐ซ๐ฒ ๐ƒ๐š๐ฒ) ๐Ÿš€

๐Ÿš€๐‹๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ โ€” ๐€๐ซ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ง๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐›๐ฅ๐ž ๐›๐š๐ ๐ ๐š๐ ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐ค๐ž๐ž๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฎ๐œ๐ค? ๐€๐ซ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š๐œ๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ž๐ฅ ๐›๐ข๐  ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐œ๐œ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ? ๐€๐ง๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ซ๐žโ€”๐š๐ญ ๐ก๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐š๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค? In this powerful episode of ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐”๐ง๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง ๐‹๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ ๐๐จ๐๐œ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ, I sit down with ๐“๐„๐ƒ๐ฑ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐š๐ค๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ ๐œ๐จ๐š๐œ๐ก ๐‰๐‘ ๐‘๐ž๐ข๐ to unpack whatโ€™s really holding high performers backโ€ฆ and how YOU can flip the script starting today. ๐–๐ž ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ: โœ… The โ€œInvisible 4โ€ opponents every leader must face โœ… W...

๐Ÿš€๐‹๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ๐ฌ โ€” ๐€๐ซ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐œ๐š๐ซ๐ซ๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ข๐ง๐ฏ๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐›๐ฅ๐ž ๐›๐š๐ ๐ ๐š๐ ๐ž ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐ค๐ž๐ž๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฎ๐œ๐ค?

๐€๐ซ๐ž ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐š๐œ๐ญ๐ฎ๐š๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐ฎ๐ž๐ฅ ๐›๐ข๐  ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐œ๐œ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ?

๐€๐ง๐ ๐ก๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ฒ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ๐Ÿ๐จ๐ซ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ง๐๐ž๐ซ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ซ๐žโ€”๐š๐ญ ๐ก๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š๐ง๐ ๐š๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค?

In this powerful episode of ๐“๐ก๐ž ๐”๐ง๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐จ๐ง ๐‹๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ ๐๐จ๐๐œ๐š๐ฌ๐ญ, I sit down with ๐“๐„๐ƒ๐ฑ ๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ž๐š๐ค๐ž๐ซ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ ๐œ๐จ๐š๐œ๐ก ๐‰๐‘ ๐‘๐ž๐ข๐ย  to unpack whatโ€™s really holding high performers backโ€ฆ and how YOU can flip the script starting today.

๐–๐ž ๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ:

โœ… The โ€œInvisible 4โ€ opponents every leader must face

โœ… Why winning is a lifestyle (not just a result)

โœ… How mind-heart-body alignment fuels peak leadership

โœ… Simple shifts that can change how you show upโ€”at work, in life, and at home

If youโ€™re a business leader, entrepreneur, executiveโ€”or someone chasing a bigger version of yourselfโ€”this conversation will hit home.

๐ŸŽง๐๐ซ๐ž๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐š๐ฒ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐ž๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ. ๐€๐ง๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐ž๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐จโ€”๐ซ๐ž๐š๐œ๐ก ๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ž๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ก๐š๐ญ ๐ฅ๐š๐ง๐๐ž๐ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ!

๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐‰๐‘ ๐›๐ซ๐จ๐ฎ๐ ๐ก๐ญ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐ข๐ง๐œ๐ซ๐ž๐๐ข๐›๐ฅ๐ž ๐ฐ๐ข๐ฌ๐๐จ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐จ๐๐š๐ฒโ€”๐๐จ๐งโ€™๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ข๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐œ๐ก๐š๐ง๐œ๐ž ๐ญ๐จ ๐ ๐จ ๐๐ž๐ž๐ฉ๐ž๐ซ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ž๐ง๐ญ.๐Ÿ‘‡

๐ŸŒ Website: https://jamesreid.com/assessment/

๐Ÿ“ฒ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jamesjrreid/ย 

๐ŸŽ™๏ธ Podcast: https://jamesreid.com/podcast/


๐Ÿ‘‡ ๐‘๐ž๐š๐๐ฒ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ค๐ž๐ž๐ฉ ๐ ๐ซ๐จ๐ฐ๐ข๐ง๐  ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ? ๐‹๐ž๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐œ๐จ๐ง๐ง๐ž๐œ๐ญ!๐Ÿ‘‡

๐Ÿ” YouTube Channel โžก๏ธ https://www.youtube.com/@coachjohngallagher/videos

๐ŸŒ Website: https://coachjohngallagher.com/ย 

๐Ÿ“ฒ Email: john@coachjohngallagher.com

๐Ÿ”— All Links: https://linktr.ee/coachjohngallagher


๐–๐ข๐ง๐ง๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ฌ๐ญ๐š๐ซ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐š๐ซ๐ž. ๐‹๐ž๐ญโ€™๐ฌ ๐ญ๐š๐ฅ๐ค ๐š๐›๐จ๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ฅ๐ž๐š๐๐ž๐ซ ๐˜๐Ž๐” ๐ฐ๐š๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž๐œ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž.๐Ÿ”ฅ

#TheUncommonLeaderPodcast #CoachJohnGallagher #LeadershipDevelopment #WinningMindset #ExecutiveCoach #FaithDrivenLeader #GrowthMinded #LeadershipBalance #MindHeartBody #ChristianBusinessCoach #LeadershipTools #PerformanceUnderPressure #LeadershipTransformation #PersonalGrowth #LeadershipJourney #ChampionsBrew #GrowingChampions #WinningLifestyle #HighPerformanceLeadership #LeadershipPodcast"

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Did you know that many of the things that I discuss on the Uncommon Leader Podcast are subjects that I coach other leaders and organizations ? If you would be interested in having me discuss 1:1 or group coaching with you, or know someone who is looking to move from Underperforming to Uncommon in their business or life, I would love to chat with you. Click this link to set up a FREE CALL to discuss how coaching might benefit you and your team)

Until next time, Go and Grow Champions!!

Connect with me

00:00 - Winning as a Daily Lifestyle

05:44 - The Power of Celebrating Small Wins

11:29 - Managing Pressure Through Transitions

21:47 - The Mind-Heart-Body Connection

31:23 - Athlete Success Story and Identity

38:55 - The Four Invisible Opponents

WEBVTT

00:00:00.179 --> 00:00:04.091
Winning is a lifestyle that you live day in and day out.

00:00:04.091 --> 00:00:10.913
It's not just this one event at one given time that comes with this particular status.

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It is a daily thing, and just because you didn't win in your career or your relationship that day doesn't mean you can't win in your finances or whatever other area you have in your life whatever other area you have in your life.

00:00:32.701 --> 00:00:33.484
Hey, uncommon Leaders, welcome back.

00:00:33.484 --> 00:00:34.887
This is the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

00:00:34.887 --> 00:00:35.770
I'm your host, john Gallagher, today.

00:00:35.770 --> 00:00:38.161
It's about time to come up clutch.

00:00:38.161 --> 00:00:44.561
We're going to have an interview with a friend of mine now and we've had a chance to chat beforehand in a couple of different ways.

00:00:44.561 --> 00:00:45.404
I'm pretty excited.

00:00:45.404 --> 00:00:48.167
Jr Reid he's a TEDx speaker.

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He is a pro and executive coach for those in the sports world.

00:00:54.564 --> 00:00:57.152
I'm looking forward to hearing some of about that and beyond.

00:00:57.152 --> 00:01:05.376
Ultimately, he's going to tell us about the unwavering belief that you're just one win away from something.

00:01:05.376 --> 00:01:14.944
Now, you're going to have to wait and listen in to what the answer to that one thing is, but I know that he's going to talk about how we deal with pressure.

00:01:14.944 --> 00:01:22.908
He's going to talk about how we deal with life, and he's going to do it in a way that's going to bring a lot of energy to the listeners of the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

00:01:22.908 --> 00:01:25.852
So, jr Reid, welcome to the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

00:01:25.852 --> 00:01:26.575
How are you doing today?

00:01:26.980 --> 00:01:29.186
John, it's great to be here, my man.

00:01:29.186 --> 00:01:30.009
I'm doing great.

00:01:30.009 --> 00:01:30.671
How about you?

00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:38.665
I'm doing well and I'm excited about our conversation, and I'll start you off with the question that I always start my first time guests.

00:01:39.268 --> 00:01:53.462
We have a lot of fun with this question and it can conjure up a lot in terms of connecting in.

00:01:53.462 --> 00:01:55.646
But what's a story from your childhood that still impacts who you are today, as a person or as a leader man?

00:01:55.646 --> 00:01:56.186
This is a fun question.

00:01:56.186 --> 00:01:57.067
So here's my disclaimer.

00:01:57.067 --> 00:01:58.611
My disclaimer is I had great parents.

00:01:58.611 --> 00:02:02.784
I grew up in a great home, two wonderful parents.

00:02:02.784 --> 00:02:04.210
They loved me to death.

00:02:04.210 --> 00:02:06.840
So I just I got to put that disclaimer on.

00:02:06.980 --> 00:02:12.818
But one day as a kid I don't know something must have happened between my dad and I.

00:02:12.818 --> 00:02:31.641
I got him really mad and I just remember crying hysterically and I must have been I don't know, been I don't know 10, 9, 10 years old.

00:02:31.641 --> 00:02:43.149
But back then now I'm dating myself I went down to my counter in the kitchen at my childhood home and I opened up the phone book that my mom had written down all the addresses and phone numbers, and I found my little league coach.

00:02:43.149 --> 00:02:55.165
I found his name and his number and I went, turned to the left, picked up the phone with the cord you know those things we used to have and I called him, hysterically, crying.

00:02:55.165 --> 00:03:11.036
I said, coach, I just got this fight with my dad and this and that, this and that right, and he just listened and then he coached me on how to handle myself in that moment and then how to handle my dad in that moment.

00:03:13.140 --> 00:03:25.569
I'm so glad you asked this question because I haven't gone back to that moment in a very, very long time and that is why I do what I do today.

00:03:25.569 --> 00:03:49.945
It's because, you know, I believe every single person needs that one person, that one coach that they could call when life feels like it's just hitting them so hard and they need to get out of their own way in that moment and they need to get in a way, that they need to get prepared in a way to move forward so they don't stay in that moment.

00:03:49.945 --> 00:04:01.300
And honestly, john, I mean that's what you do, that's what I do Like that moment will stick with me until I'm six feet under, you know and there's so much that I love about that story.

00:04:01.520 --> 00:04:05.689
One is just thinking about nine and 10 and some of those stories.

00:04:05.689 --> 00:04:06.673
With my dad as well.

00:04:06.673 --> 00:04:08.787
I did play sports also.

00:04:08.787 --> 00:04:18.625
I can't imagine calling up that baseball coach if you will, but it is that 3 am friend that we need today that we got a problem man.

00:04:18.625 --> 00:04:35.531
We need someone that we can call who's going to be there, and if we said I need you to meet me here tomorrow at my house and we need to go through this because I'm really struggling with it, that they drive six hours to make sure that that happens, kind of thing, or they'd get on an airplane and be there for you.

00:04:36.120 --> 00:04:48.533
I just had a recent situation where my dad's passed a couple months ago and you find out ultimately who he's impacted in his life, but also those who have been close to you.

00:04:48.533 --> 00:05:04.254
And having two of my dear friends surprise me at the funeral home to come and support me one who flew in and one who drove hours in those are those individuals, those phone numbers in the phone book that you need to be able to count on in your future.

00:05:04.254 --> 00:05:06.908
Love that story and sharing it and understanding it.

00:05:06.908 --> 00:05:09.148
And then there's the old cord on the telephone.

00:05:09.148 --> 00:05:10.946
So how long was your cord?

00:05:10.946 --> 00:05:14.610
Could you stretch into the other room to be secretive?

00:05:15.540 --> 00:05:17.627
Hey, that was my mom's phone man.

00:05:17.627 --> 00:05:19.192
In this little short Italian.

00:05:19.192 --> 00:05:20.220
That thing could stretch.

00:05:20.220 --> 00:05:23.067
I felt like it could stretch to the next neighbor's house.

00:05:23.067 --> 00:05:27.685
That thing was so long, but yeah, I was just like Mom.

00:05:27.685 --> 00:05:30.610
Why do you need this long of a cord for crying?

00:05:30.670 --> 00:05:31.069
out loud.

00:05:31.069 --> 00:05:32.552
Yeah, it was fun.

00:05:32.552 --> 00:05:38.172
There's something we were talking about Just hold it down, so it spins and spins and spins until you get it and it's not tangled up anymore.

00:05:38.899 --> 00:05:41.504
People wonder why I became such a great athlete.

00:05:41.504 --> 00:05:55.209
It's because when I came downstairs and went into the kitchen, the cord was stretched from the wall to where she was sitting and I had to do hurdles all the time over the cord while she was having her coffee and coffee cake.

00:05:55.209 --> 00:05:57.634
Man, it was fun times back in the day.

00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:02.100
So good, it's going to be great to have a conversation with you, but I want to start you off a little bit.

00:06:02.100 --> 00:06:10.283
What I chatted about in the kickoff, and that was this statement that opens up your bio you say we're one win away from a completely different blank.

00:06:10.283 --> 00:06:16.985
So what is it that we're one win away from and, ultimately, how do you use that philosophy in your coaching today?

00:06:17.766 --> 00:06:20.293
Well, it's really fill in your own blank.

00:06:20.560 --> 00:06:57.733
You know, as athletes and I found this both when I played as an athlete and obviously I'm fortunate to get to work with the highest level of athletes now and highest level executives and we get so caught up on the big deal that when we have a win, we don't realize that it's a win and that it's fueling forward progress and momentum, and that's just it.

00:06:57.980 --> 00:07:10.930
I found when we're focused on the big thing so much and then we realize where we're at today and we see this big gap, it's almost like, oh shoot, I'm failing.

00:07:10.930 --> 00:07:14.028
Oh, shoot, man, I'm never going to get there.

00:07:14.028 --> 00:07:16.528
Do I even have enough to get?

00:07:16.528 --> 00:07:28.985
Like it's all of those thoughts and that's why I say hey look, you're just one win away from more momentum towards filling that gap, towards, you know, closing that deal, towards crossing that goal line.

00:07:28.985 --> 00:07:50.985
So I it's just it's something I've said over and over again because, john, I I feel like we're overlooking the power of the wind instead of this massive win that we think we need to feel great, to look great and to feel like we're making progress.

00:07:52.127 --> 00:07:52.709
I love that.

00:07:52.709 --> 00:08:01.507
I think about that because when I coach individuals now, the first question I ask them in their template each coaching call is what's been your biggest win since we last talked?

00:08:01.507 --> 00:08:07.687
And so many times you talk about that win since we last talked and so many times you talk about that.

00:08:07.687 --> 00:08:23.208
They're looking for that outcome that they talk about and they're like oh, I landed a new job that was worth $5 million for us as a company, or I was able to complete this event in 47 minutes instead of 25 or whatever that is.

00:08:23.208 --> 00:08:37.909
And so when they think about that big win, too many times like I can't really think of a win over the past two weeks exactly, and we're like no, no I, so I've I've, by the way, I've eliminated that adjective and period like.

00:08:38.149 --> 00:08:44.706
So I, like you, caught myself all the time asking, hey, what's what's been a big win this week, or what's your top three, or whatever.

00:08:44.706 --> 00:08:49.474
I just stopped and I was like, hey, I'm just curious what?

00:08:49.474 --> 00:08:55.068
When you got this week, and it's, and it's, it's shifted especially for my longtime clients.

00:08:55.068 --> 00:09:01.211
It's shifted from yeah, the big thing, to like man, I got to walk around the block with my daughter this week.

00:09:01.211 --> 00:09:09.254
Amen, that's a huge see, I almost said it, huge win, that's a win, you know.

00:09:09.254 --> 00:09:10.905
So that's what I'm saying.

00:09:10.905 --> 00:09:15.090
That walk around the block with your daughter, that's what I'm talking about.

00:09:15.090 --> 00:09:15.971
That's a win.

00:09:15.971 --> 00:09:18.125
You're one win away.

00:09:18.240 --> 00:09:28.125
That walk puts you that much closer to whatever success you want to have, in whatever arena, even with your daughter in this case.

00:09:28.125 --> 00:09:31.683
Because you, you were there, you were present in that.

00:09:31.683 --> 00:09:41.559
That wind fueled you, it fueled your soul, it fueled your brain, it fueled your body, and I'm telling you, that's just how momentum works.

00:09:41.559 --> 00:09:43.043
You know, this is an athlete, john.

00:09:43.043 --> 00:09:44.365
We got that fuel.

00:09:44.365 --> 00:09:45.447
Gosh, gosh, darn it.

00:09:45.447 --> 00:09:50.721
We're going to be more prepared to, to be a better husband, father, leader, wherever the case may be.

00:09:50.721 --> 00:09:52.886
Fill in your own blank fill in your own blank.

00:09:52.907 --> 00:09:53.427
I love that.

00:09:53.427 --> 00:09:55.864
Fill in your own blank, and that's that is so cool.

00:09:55.864 --> 00:10:01.725
You know I just finished reading a book and I know you know we are readers, to say the least and it was written by a navy.

00:10:01.725 --> 00:10:09.774
And he talked about hell week a little bit within that, and he was on one of the teams that took care of Osama bin Laden at the time.

00:10:09.774 --> 00:10:16.061
But he said you know, if I had to look at hell week and I only looked at the win was to get through hell week and not quit.

00:10:16.061 --> 00:10:17.903
I would have quit on day one.

00:10:18.684 --> 00:10:28.388
And he talked about the exercise of the when they lay down on the beach arm and arm arm with each other and they don't know how long they're going to have to take that cold water on over and over again.

00:10:28.388 --> 00:10:32.847
He says I just had to change the horizon of the wind, bring it in closer.

00:10:32.847 --> 00:10:37.245
He said I just need to get through the next five waves and that's the wind.

00:10:37.245 --> 00:10:39.591
Let's celebrate that wind and understand what that is.

00:10:39.591 --> 00:10:41.982
That helped me so much just before.

00:10:41.982 --> 00:10:49.711
The timing of it was perfect I don't think it was accidental before I did my first Spartan race and just don't worry about getting to the end of the race.

00:10:49.711 --> 00:10:54.770
Just get to the next obstacle and work your way to the next obstacle and then assess that.

00:10:54.770 --> 00:10:55.352
So cool.

00:10:55.352 --> 00:10:56.542
I love that.

00:10:56.542 --> 00:10:58.469
Fill in the blank as you talk about it.

00:10:58.469 --> 00:11:01.828
You mentioned and a lot of times we put pressure on yourselves.

00:11:01.828 --> 00:11:07.224
That's a big part of what you coach is thriving under intense pressure.

00:11:07.224 --> 00:11:09.889
Navy SEALs are under intense pressure.

00:11:09.889 --> 00:11:14.304
What's your take on pressure and how that impacts how we celebrate our wins?

00:11:15.147 --> 00:11:17.270
Yeah, it's rare.

00:11:17.270 --> 00:11:22.908
I mean, it's real, not rare, it's not rare, it's every day, multiple times a day.

00:11:22.908 --> 00:11:25.052
It's real, it's real.

00:11:25.052 --> 00:11:28.629
Now, is it unrealistic?

00:11:28.629 --> 00:11:33.047
Sometimes, yes, is it overpowering?

00:11:33.047 --> 00:11:38.811
Sometimes, yes, but again, people want to talk about pressure all the time.

00:11:40.402 --> 00:11:49.128
And I just had gotten this conversation with one of my Major League Baseball players and he was talking about the P word, as we call it, and I said man, what is it?

00:11:49.128 --> 00:11:55.740
And he's like yeah, man, well, you know, I got my family now and I got my kids and I just signed this big contract.

00:11:55.740 --> 00:11:59.246
And he was just going on and on, and on, and on and on and on.

00:11:59.246 --> 00:12:02.354
I said interesting, what about the game?

00:12:02.354 --> 00:12:05.202
And he goes what?

00:12:05.202 --> 00:12:07.328
I said yeah, what about the game?

00:12:07.328 --> 00:12:10.284
You're playing baseball, right?

00:12:10.284 --> 00:12:15.683
I said, yeah, you haven't mentioned anything about baseball yet and you should have saw the look on his face.

00:12:15.683 --> 00:12:19.390
It's almost like he had an epiphany.

00:12:19.390 --> 00:12:28.975
I said do you realize you're focused on all of these other things that have nothing to do with you playing the game?

00:12:28.975 --> 00:12:37.326
He goes whoa, yeah, they do, because if I don't perform, then I can't put food on the table, then I can't live this lifestyle, then I can't, then I can't, then I can't.

00:12:37.326 --> 00:12:48.759
I said, hmm, seems like we found the root of your pressure, john.

00:12:48.759 --> 00:12:49.100
To me it's.

00:12:49.100 --> 00:12:51.024
And again, this is not like we just flip a switch and it's there.

00:12:51.024 --> 00:12:57.965
A lot of this is in the reframe, a lot of this is in our perspective, and this is why I'm so big on focus.

00:12:58.505 --> 00:13:04.163
I basically tell my clients, in any conversation I have around just this human performance world, I say you know what?

00:13:04.163 --> 00:13:06.187
Life is one big transition.

00:13:06.187 --> 00:13:15.312
We transition between moments, we transition between roles, you know, from entrepreneur to husband to father, whatever Transition between seasons.

00:13:15.312 --> 00:13:24.958
If we start looking at life through that lens, then it's all about oh, I'm moving from this to that, all right, how do I get prepared?

00:13:24.958 --> 00:13:25.823
Oh, I'm moving from this to that, all right, how do I get prepared?

00:13:25.823 --> 00:13:28.793
Oh, I'm moving from this to this, how do I get prepared?

00:13:28.793 --> 00:13:39.725
We're staying in the moment and then all the other stuff can't get in the way because we're focused on what we can manage in that moment or in that role or in that season.

00:13:39.725 --> 00:13:43.884
And then we go, okay, got to make this transition, got to make this transition.

00:13:44.285 --> 00:13:51.770
What's happening is we're not focused on this as a transition and it's creating this emotional residue.

00:13:51.770 --> 00:13:55.984
We're just carrying it with us wherever we go.

00:13:55.984 --> 00:14:07.275
And next thing, you know it, all these other things are forcing us to just hold on to it, hold on to it, hold on to it.

00:14:07.275 --> 00:14:10.025
And then, all of a sudden, you know the whole saying about carrying baggage.

00:14:10.025 --> 00:14:24.028
Well, that's where it comes from our our minds can only take so much, and when they're overloaded, our brain goes into fight or flight and then we're just completely off our rocker, our nervous system's out of control.

00:14:24.028 --> 00:14:36.859
And then guess what happens when our body is talking to our brain and our brain's talking to our body and in it's saying there's multiple bears in front of you.

00:14:36.859 --> 00:14:39.828
You better run fast.

00:14:39.828 --> 00:14:42.072
That's pressure.

00:14:42.072 --> 00:14:44.135
That's I better.

00:14:44.135 --> 00:14:45.278
This is my life.

00:14:45.278 --> 00:14:47.145
I better run hard and run fast.

00:14:47.145 --> 00:14:48.889
That's what this is really.

00:14:49.150 --> 00:14:59.866
That's what's really happened, john well, the good thing is, as a coach, you never go through those transitions right, because you got it in the bag, everything I got figured out, oh yeah I got, I got figured out.

00:14:59.886 --> 00:15:01.288
there's me and Jesus baby.

00:15:01.288 --> 00:15:02.288
I got it figured, that's right.

00:15:02.308 --> 00:15:08.611
Yeah, right, right there, you know, like one A on the on the on the chart, no, but I mean so.

00:15:08.611 --> 00:15:18.077
We all experience that and the good part about it that, from a vulnerability standpoint, is first when you can help folks become aware of that and also recognize.

00:15:18.077 --> 00:15:26.042
You even touched on this as you look back at back to that nine year old story-year-old story about not even thinking about how that's impacted you today.

00:15:26.042 --> 00:15:29.908
There are different things that you must use to become aware.

00:15:29.908 --> 00:15:37.509
So what are one or two habits you have to chase those bears so that you can focus and stay present in the moment.

00:15:38.110 --> 00:15:42.866
Yeah, I'm glad you loop back to that story of childhood because think about that moment.

00:15:42.866 --> 00:15:46.013
So that was a moment, that was a life moment.

00:15:46.013 --> 00:15:47.395
I had a transition.

00:15:47.395 --> 00:16:06.549
That coach in that moment Now I didn't even realize it at the time, I was fricking nine or 10 years old, right he helped me transition to my next moment, he prepared, he helped me and this is what I tell guys I said, look, I don't like the term.

00:16:07.010 --> 00:16:09.576
I mean you heard this as an athlete control the controllables.

00:16:09.576 --> 00:16:12.169
Sure, yeah, I heard all the time.

00:16:12.169 --> 00:16:22.397
Well then I did a lot more nerdy study on science and I realized we have 37 trillion plus cells in our body all running at a time.

00:16:22.397 --> 00:16:25.109
Let's say we don't even believe in God.

00:16:25.109 --> 00:16:32.854
If you think you can control all 37 trillion cells in your body at one given time, call me please.

00:16:32.854 --> 00:16:34.778
I need to meet you and have you on the show.

00:16:34.778 --> 00:16:43.715
If you do believe in God which I'm assuming a lot of your listeners do, just like you and me believe in God, which I'm assuming a lot of your listeners do, just like you and me we know that he is in full control.

00:16:43.715 --> 00:16:47.139
We never have full control.

00:16:47.139 --> 00:16:48.379
He has full control.

00:16:48.379 --> 00:16:55.129
So I don't like the control word.

00:16:55.129 --> 00:16:57.197
I like the manage word and I know it's a cheesy play on words, but follow me for a minute.

00:16:57.217 --> 00:16:58.423
I say manage your manageables.

00:16:58.442 --> 00:17:04.184
Like that, because just the word switch from control to manage takes pressure.

00:17:04.184 --> 00:17:05.969
Speaking of pressure, it takes pressure off me.

00:17:05.969 --> 00:17:09.986
I don't have to control everything, I could just manage it.

00:17:09.986 --> 00:17:19.086
And one way I help my clients do it I do it all the time is I talk about scan and respond.

00:17:19.086 --> 00:17:21.307
So I have this clutch recipe.

00:17:21.307 --> 00:17:30.579
Probably won't get into it today, but the first ingredient is manage, of course, and I talk about managing your mind, your heart and your body.

00:17:30.579 --> 00:17:37.651
Okay, so the first part in that ingredient is the scan piece.

00:17:37.651 --> 00:17:42.328
So I always say scan from top to bottom, respond from bottom to top.

00:17:42.328 --> 00:17:44.674
Okay, okay, so follow me.

00:17:44.674 --> 00:17:48.393
Mind's at the top, heart is in the middle, body's on the bottom.

00:17:48.393 --> 00:17:52.645
Okay, so I go all right, what are your primary thoughts right now?

00:17:52.645 --> 00:17:55.855
Scan it, what's going on in your head?

00:17:55.855 --> 00:18:06.237
We're creating awareness, okay, I know, and I, having had previous discussions with you and doing a podcast episode for me, I know you know how important awareness is.

00:18:06.237 --> 00:18:07.679
That creates awareness.

00:18:08.038 --> 00:18:08.967
Then I go down the heart.

00:18:08.967 --> 00:18:10.190
What are you feeling right now?

00:18:10.190 --> 00:18:18.290
And especially if you had a male, highly driven male leader, let's see to your show.

00:18:18.290 --> 00:18:21.759
We don't like the heart thing because it's soft.

00:18:21.759 --> 00:18:24.769
Oh, jr, here we're going to talk about feelings.

00:18:24.769 --> 00:18:25.554
Well, you know what?

00:18:25.554 --> 00:18:35.029
If you knew human performance science, you better know about your feelings, because there's this thing called emotional regulation that controls how we respond physically.

00:18:35.029 --> 00:18:36.635
But we won't get into that wormhole.

00:18:36.635 --> 00:18:39.566
So your heart, what am I feeling right now?

00:18:39.566 --> 00:18:44.332
So we just took inventory on our mind, we scanned our heart, we took inventory on what we're feeling.

00:18:44.332 --> 00:18:50.934
Then it's as a result of what I'm thinking and feeling, how is my body responding?

00:18:50.934 --> 00:18:52.877
Am I sweating?

00:18:52.877 --> 00:18:53.819
Is my heart rate up?

00:18:53.819 --> 00:18:56.711
Am I cramping?

00:18:56.711 --> 00:19:04.678
Because here's the deal, if we know our heart rate's out, well, guess what we do when we start to respond.

00:19:04.678 --> 00:19:09.497
We go oh shoot, my heart rate's really high right now.

00:19:09.497 --> 00:19:19.176
I'm about to go in an important meeting or important moment or a switch from entrepreneur to husband or father mode or spouse mode, whatever.

00:19:19.176 --> 00:19:21.731
Maybe I should slow my breathing down.

00:19:21.731 --> 00:19:23.666
Maybe I should slow my breathing down.

00:19:23.666 --> 00:19:25.128
Maybe I should respond.

00:19:25.128 --> 00:19:29.594
Maybe I should just go take a walk and just chill out for a couple minutes.

00:19:29.594 --> 00:19:35.300
Maybe I just need to sit in my car in the driveway before I open the front door and close my eyes.

00:19:35.300 --> 00:19:42.136
So we scan our mind, heart and body and're we're going to respond bottom up.

00:19:42.478 --> 00:19:47.373
I always say leverage your body to affect your mind.

00:19:47.373 --> 00:19:54.492
See a lot of men and a lot and this is how I grew up, john, especially as an athlete talk yourself out of your situation.

00:19:54.492 --> 00:19:57.459
Self-talk, self-talk, self-talk, self-talk.

00:19:57.459 --> 00:20:02.597
And one of my mentors said said this to he's in the energy psychology space.

00:20:02.597 --> 00:20:05.134
He said JR, you can never think your way out of a problem.

00:20:05.134 --> 00:20:08.151
You have this body.

00:20:08.151 --> 00:20:10.833
Your body knows how to regulate your nervous system.

00:20:10.833 --> 00:20:11.334
Use it.

00:20:12.085 --> 00:20:19.911
So I always say respond with body first, because you're going to know if you did scan properly, you're going to know how your body responded.

00:20:19.911 --> 00:20:22.209
And then move back up to the heart.

00:20:22.209 --> 00:20:28.420
All right, in this next moment, or in this next role, how do I want to feel?

00:20:28.420 --> 00:20:32.132
Well, I want to feel excited, I want to feel alive.

00:20:32.132 --> 00:20:33.454
I want to fill in your blank.

00:20:33.454 --> 00:20:37.088
And then, what's my primary thought?

00:20:37.088 --> 00:20:39.574
So back to the mind.

00:20:39.933 --> 00:20:43.465
Now that I'm transitioning to that next thing, how do I want to think?

00:20:44.269 --> 00:20:46.095
So, think about what we just did, john.

00:20:46.095 --> 00:20:49.465
We managed our mind, heart and body by scanning first.

00:20:49.465 --> 00:20:52.974
Then we got our body in place to go to our next thing.

00:20:52.974 --> 00:20:58.460
We got our body under control, okay, in a better state of management, and then we're focused on a feeling.

00:20:58.460 --> 00:21:00.759
So again our brain finds what we're looking for.

00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:01.500
So if we said we want to feel more joy, we're going on a feeling.

00:21:01.500 --> 00:21:01.959
So again our brain finds what we're looking for.

00:21:01.959 --> 00:21:16.410
So if we're look, if we said we want to feel more joy, we're going to look for more joy instead of the guy who just cut me off on the road and then and then we're going to have a saying or a phrase or something we want to think heading into that thing.

00:21:16.410 --> 00:21:23.099
If you execute on those, jer boy, that takes 10, 15 minutes.

00:21:23.099 --> 00:21:30.094
Actually that takes some of my Major League Baseball players seconds between pitches.

00:21:30.094 --> 00:21:36.474
So if they can do it between pitches, your butts can do it in a couple of minutes.

00:21:36.474 --> 00:21:40.737
Between long day at work to I get to go home.

00:21:49.030 --> 00:21:50.811
Hey Uncommon Leaders, hope you're enjoying the episode.

00:21:50.811 --> 00:21:54.275
So far, I believe in doing business with people you like and trust.

00:21:54.275 --> 00:21:59.337
Between long day at work to, I get to go home consultation call with one of their expert brand strategists.

00:21:59.337 --> 00:22:05.423
They'll help you identify your uniqueness, craft a compelling story and develop a step-by-step plan to elevate your impact.

00:22:05.423 --> 00:22:16.205
So head on over to coachjohngallaghercom slash BBG, as in Brand Builders Group, to schedule your free call and take the first step toward building a personal brand that gets you noticed for all the right reasons.

00:22:16.205 --> 00:22:19.673
That's coachjohngallaghercom slash BBG.

00:22:19.673 --> 00:22:21.377
Now let's get back to the episode.

00:22:24.744 --> 00:22:25.509
Man, you talked about this, this like.

00:22:25.509 --> 00:22:26.815
There's so many things going through my mind as you say that too.

00:22:26.815 --> 00:22:27.618
There's a quote that my teacher told me.

00:22:27.618 --> 00:22:30.747
He says it's easier to act your way in a new way of thinking than it is to think your way in a new way of acting.

00:22:30.747 --> 00:22:33.630
Very much like what you talked about in terms of up and down.

00:22:33.630 --> 00:22:36.692
I love that and I love the bottom up theory.

00:22:36.792 --> 00:22:38.234
That's the conscious part of it.

00:22:38.234 --> 00:22:45.781
You have to be conscious at the start, but what you're saying is that if we do that enough, it's hard at the start.

00:22:45.781 --> 00:22:52.036
It's just like exercise, but we claim to be an athlete.

00:22:52.036 --> 00:23:03.166
We want to be an athlete in terms of how we feel, so we must go to the gym to turn into an athlete or a fit person, and it's so much work at the start, but it just becomes part of who you are.

00:23:03.166 --> 00:23:06.079
I've had a CEO that I coached who said it's just a reflex.

00:23:06.079 --> 00:23:09.029
You don't think about picking the water bottle up and taking a drink.

00:23:09.029 --> 00:23:10.432
It's just something you do.

00:23:10.432 --> 00:23:16.605
You are thirsty, therefore you pick up your cup to take a drink, or there's something in your throat, so you're going backward with that.

00:23:16.605 --> 00:23:21.450
You're not thinking about it for two minutes to say should I take a drink or should I not.

00:23:21.450 --> 00:23:27.776
It moves from consciously aware to something to unconsciously aware of it.

00:23:27.776 --> 00:23:31.519
That's how the best athletes do it, because they don't have to think about it.

00:23:31.519 --> 00:23:34.422
It just becomes part of who they are.

00:23:37.307 --> 00:23:38.881
But we've got to practice it first, a hundred percent.

00:23:38.881 --> 00:23:39.305
A hundred percent.

00:23:39.305 --> 00:23:45.967
And, john, a lot of leaders out there are missing this mind, heart, body connection.

00:23:45.967 --> 00:23:58.211
And if there's nothing, if there's one thing your listeners today take away from our conversation, it's we have to connect these three items.

00:23:58.211 --> 00:24:00.153
We have to.

00:24:00.153 --> 00:24:02.817
That's just how God wired us.

00:24:02.817 --> 00:24:07.089
He wired our minds, our hearts and our bodies to all work together.

00:24:07.089 --> 00:24:08.333
Jr, how could you say that?

00:24:08.333 --> 00:24:11.088
All right, when you cry after an event?

00:24:11.088 --> 00:24:12.854
Well, think about it.

00:24:12.854 --> 00:24:20.972
If an event happens, someone passes away, your mind goes oh my gosh, this just happened.

00:24:20.972 --> 00:24:22.556
Well, guess what our heart?

00:24:22.556 --> 00:24:22.797
Now?

00:24:22.797 --> 00:24:23.999
We're feeling sad.

00:24:23.999 --> 00:24:25.790
What happens to our body?

00:24:25.790 --> 00:24:26.753
We start crying.

00:24:26.753 --> 00:24:32.557
That's our body's natural mechanism to deal with what we're thinking and feeling.

00:24:32.557 --> 00:24:37.175
We're crying to help actually calm our nervous system down.

00:24:37.175 --> 00:24:42.352
So that's what I'm saying let's not deny how God made us.

00:24:42.352 --> 00:24:50.385
Let's leverage how God made us to help us become better people, both in the moment, in our roles and in key seasons of our lives.

00:24:50.385 --> 00:24:52.150
So good.

00:24:52.951 --> 00:24:53.673
Mind, heart, body.

00:24:53.673 --> 00:24:59.087
Back up body, heart, mind, starting to feel pressure, Palms will start to sweat.

00:24:59.087 --> 00:25:03.605
I'm able to say well, I recognize that I need to do something different.

00:25:03.605 --> 00:25:08.730
I need to take an action, do something different so that I'll feel different and ultimately be more successful.

00:25:08.730 --> 00:25:10.577
Love that mind, heart, body.

00:25:10.577 --> 00:25:17.297
As you go through it, you know you got a story, that of a person that you've worked with that was really successful successful at it.

00:25:18.444 --> 00:25:20.270
Yeah, actually it's.

00:25:20.270 --> 00:25:23.788
It's funny you ask this question Just this week.

00:25:23.788 --> 00:25:28.585
I got to be careful how much of the story I give away because I don't want to give away my client.

00:25:28.585 --> 00:25:34.417
But he ended up becoming a player of the week this week in Major League Baseball.

00:25:34.417 --> 00:25:39.816
And you know it's not his first year he's been around the block.

00:25:39.816 --> 00:25:43.586
He's had a rough, rough season, had an absolute rough season last year.

00:25:43.586 --> 00:25:46.353
Calls me in january, we go way back.

00:25:46.353 --> 00:25:48.778
He's like I want to work with you, okay, great.

00:25:48.778 --> 00:26:00.357
And you know I'm throwing out some of this stuff with him, thinking he's been, he's learned it, and he's like no, I've never really done this like this, I've never really done this, okay, okay.

00:26:00.357 --> 00:26:05.057
So I basically shared him to shared with him the clutch recipe.

00:26:05.057 --> 00:26:09.509
I said, look, we're going to focus on the managing ingredient right now, exactly Everything we just talked about.

00:26:09.509 --> 00:26:09.730
John.

00:26:09.730 --> 00:26:16.458
And next thing, you know he starts the season.

00:26:16.458 --> 00:26:19.957
I mean he didn't make the opening day roster, gets sent down to trip.

00:26:19.957 --> 00:26:27.057
Imagine this, imagine this, imagine this you at one point were one of the hottest hitters in Major League Baseball.

00:26:27.057 --> 00:26:28.671
Don't make the opening day roster.

00:26:28.731 --> 00:26:30.531
Okay, most guys talk about pressure.

00:26:30.531 --> 00:26:39.708
You have two kids, you have a family, like that's pressure, right, yeah, I'm sticking to the process, I'm sticking to the process, sticking to the process.

00:26:39.708 --> 00:26:41.691
I'm sticking to the process, I'm sticking to the process.

00:26:41.691 --> 00:26:53.666
He goes, starts his season and AAA just blows it up, right, Gets sent up for a day, faces a pitcher, doesn't have his best game, gets sent down the next day.

00:26:53.666 --> 00:27:00.826
You want to talk about feeling it Okay, but he's stuck with the process.

00:27:00.826 --> 00:27:01.288
Stuck with the process.

00:27:01.288 --> 00:27:02.530
Hey, I'm going to do these steps every single day.

00:27:02.530 --> 00:27:03.313
I'm going to do it every day.

00:27:03.313 --> 00:27:04.737
I'm going to do it when I'm playing.

00:27:04.737 --> 00:27:06.872
I'm going to do it when I'm transitioning to father mode.

00:27:06.872 --> 00:27:11.365
Like he's doing it, john, and gets called up again.

00:27:13.268 --> 00:27:17.692
And the thing is, you know, with Major League Baseball games they're more available.

00:27:17.692 --> 00:27:20.796
So you're watching it, so I'm watching this in real time.

00:27:20.796 --> 00:27:33.916
And he gets up to the plate, backs off, grabs his bat, he closes his eyes, he takes his breath Like no joke, man, you don't see players doing this correctly and in this order.

00:27:33.916 --> 00:27:35.409
And he's been doing it.

00:27:35.409 --> 00:27:36.352
He's been doing it.

00:27:36.352 --> 00:27:37.214
He's been doing it.

00:27:37.214 --> 00:27:44.484
He is the hottest hitter in baseball right now doing it.

00:27:44.484 --> 00:27:45.468
He is the hottest hitter in baseball right now.

00:27:45.468 --> 00:27:48.914
I'm watching it before my eyes with a guy who's believed in it, believed in the process, done the work.

00:27:48.914 --> 00:27:50.157
Like you said, it takes work.

00:27:50.157 --> 00:27:58.248
He's done the work and now it's become second nature to where he just goes in that thing and he is just smooth as can be.

00:27:58.248 --> 00:28:02.193
Yeah, it works.

00:28:02.996 --> 00:28:03.936
I love that story.

00:28:03.936 --> 00:28:07.848
Again, don't worry about who it is, leaders, when you listen to that story.

00:28:07.848 --> 00:28:24.971
We work so hard to get to a certain level of success and then we forget about what got us there to a certain point Again, get distracted again, walk away from that success oh, I got that down, I don't have to worry about that anymore.

00:28:24.971 --> 00:28:38.595
And the ball starts to roll back downhill again and you're like you got to get back to those habits, those disciplines that kept you there until they ultimately become just a reflex.

00:28:38.595 --> 00:28:46.605
I can't imagine the pride that you felt in watching that and seeing that breath and like I know he's going through, oh man, the three steps up and I know we're going through it.

00:28:47.246 --> 00:28:59.810
It's the mic drop moment you're like I'm done I just so proud of him because I saw a kid who just believed in the process.

00:28:59.810 --> 00:29:08.511
But I I do have to mention something here, john, you just said it Like we forgot what made us successful, we forgot what got us there.

00:29:08.511 --> 00:29:09.891
That's identity.

00:29:09.891 --> 00:29:33.218
That is an identity play, and so much of the work I'm doing is identity-based performance work Because, again, whether it's becoming adults or becoming a CEO or whatever, reaching the highest level in sports, I don't care what it is we forget who we are and, most importantly, who we're becoming.

00:29:33.218 --> 00:29:38.990
And as soon as we lose that identity everythingโ€” do you want to talk about pressure?

00:29:38.990 --> 00:29:49.247
Because now pressure seeps in, because we're so worried about what other people are saying and doing and what have you that our identity goes out the window.

00:29:49.247 --> 00:29:54.007
And next thing, you know it, how could we align our actions with our identity if we forgot who we are?

00:29:57.211 --> 00:29:57.852
how do we forget?

00:29:57.852 --> 00:29:58.512
Why do we?

00:30:00.916 --> 00:30:07.730
We get caught up in the wrong dang things, man, but you know, honestly, distraction is there.

00:30:07.730 --> 00:30:13.909
Go back to how we started this conversation Again, jr.

00:30:13.909 --> 00:30:15.914
Do you have all the research to back this up?

00:30:15.914 --> 00:30:19.233
No, I just have a lot of stories and I have my own story.

00:30:19.233 --> 00:30:37.280
You get so caught up in the gap between where you're at today and where you want to be that when you're seeing things through the lens of failure or slow pace, that's where I feel like the identity is lost.

00:30:37.280 --> 00:30:47.814
In a lot of times, it's because we're too focused on the wrong things and, in this case, the gap there's something I love using movies.

00:30:48.375 --> 00:30:54.252
Just you know, sound like mr miyagi here paint the fence, paint the fence man, and do it like this.

00:30:54.252 --> 00:31:05.319
Don't ask why at the start, like, as a coach, we have to do that sometimes until it becomes part of who they are, and like, oh, that's why you were doing that.

00:31:05.319 --> 00:31:13.818
Again, whether it's the coach when we were nine years old asking us to put the glove on the ground to catch a ground ball, even though it might hit us in the chest, there's a reason.

00:31:15.546 --> 00:31:18.675
You know, I'm sure you have parents listening to this show too.

00:31:18.675 --> 00:31:20.551
I just had a go here with my son.

00:31:20.551 --> 00:31:24.127
Sure you have parents listening to this show too.

00:31:24.127 --> 00:31:24.788
I just had a go here with my son.

00:31:24.788 --> 00:31:27.415
So, 13 year old son loves baseball, wants to, you know, play in the big league someday.

00:31:27.415 --> 00:31:29.146
This is what he tells me back in 20,.

00:31:29.146 --> 00:31:33.135
We went to the world series in 2021 and, no joke, john, this was crazy.

00:31:33.135 --> 00:31:34.346
Like I did not expect it.

00:31:34.346 --> 00:31:38.193
So my son was this same son was 10.

00:31:38.193 --> 00:31:39.737
Yeah, 10 years old.

00:31:39.737 --> 00:31:44.967
And and the big screen you know his big screens on the right in right, center field in houston.

00:31:44.967 --> 00:31:48.435
And he goes dad, you're gonna see me on that billboard someday.

00:31:48.435 --> 00:31:50.647
I was like what?

00:31:50.647 --> 00:31:54.133
Okay, let's go, all right, let's go man.

00:31:54.133 --> 00:32:01.912
So, interestingly, so he's 13 and got invited to do this showcase type deal, okay.

00:32:01.912 --> 00:32:04.617
So I knew what was about to happen.

00:32:04.617 --> 00:32:06.872
I knew he was going to show up.

00:32:07.025 --> 00:32:11.737
The kid hasn't hit puberty yet, playing with 14 and 15-year-old men.

00:32:11.737 --> 00:32:19.471
And again, you know, 13 too is a vulnerable age in terms of identity and figuring out who they are.

00:32:19.471 --> 00:32:23.960
I mean, golly, I don't need to go into that age in terms of identity and figuring out who they are.

00:32:23.960 --> 00:32:30.609
I mean, golly, I don't need to go into that but constant, constant conversation between him and I.

00:32:30.609 --> 00:32:31.834
Hey, bud, hey, I just want to let you know why we're here.

00:32:31.834 --> 00:32:32.497
We're here to get your numbers.

00:32:32.497 --> 00:32:33.621
We're here to see where you're at.

00:32:33.621 --> 00:32:35.926
We're here to see what we need to improve on.

00:32:35.926 --> 00:32:44.941
We're here to see, like it was constantly about him and his journey and nothing to do with who he was playing against.

00:32:44.941 --> 00:32:49.454
So my clockwork, we show up and there's a kid.

00:32:49.454 --> 00:32:52.890
There's a kid on his team, john, that just turned 14.

00:32:52.890 --> 00:32:59.045
That's 6'8" throwing 90 miles an hour.

00:32:59.535 --> 00:33:02.434
There's another kid on his team 6'3", 230.

00:33:02.434 --> 00:33:05.923
And, like he, you should have saw his eyes.

00:33:05.923 --> 00:33:09.276
His eyes went like this right Again.

00:33:09.276 --> 00:33:14.842
We had all the conversations we could have had week leading up to it.

00:33:14.842 --> 00:33:17.042
We got to the situation.

00:33:17.042 --> 00:33:23.337
We got on the field of play and all of a sudden, all the monsters were there, all the giants were there.

00:33:24.019 --> 00:33:27.305
And I saw it he goes in the dugout.

00:33:27.305 --> 00:33:30.038
I said hey, hey, man, I just want to just hey.

00:33:30.038 --> 00:33:31.079
Who are you right now?

00:33:31.079 --> 00:33:32.503
What do you mean, dad?

00:33:32.503 --> 00:33:35.175
Who are you right now, caleb?

00:33:35.175 --> 00:33:36.057
I said how old are you?

00:33:36.057 --> 00:33:37.701
He goes 13.

00:33:37.701 --> 00:33:43.596
I said why are we here today older than you?

00:33:43.596 --> 00:33:43.938
He goes 13.

00:33:43.938 --> 00:33:44.560
I said why are we here today?

00:33:44.560 --> 00:33:45.002
To learn some things?

00:33:45.002 --> 00:33:45.686
Okay, what's your main goal today?

00:33:45.686 --> 00:33:46.913
To figure out my numbers, figure out how I get better?

00:33:46.913 --> 00:33:48.096
Okay, all right, go play.

00:33:48.096 --> 00:33:53.065
Isn't that a reminder of what we need to constantly do?

00:33:53.065 --> 00:33:54.287
Every single day?

00:33:54.287 --> 00:34:10.027
We have to bring ourselves back to who we are and who we're becoming, because if we get sidetracked with that, we're going to cause misalignment, and you and I both know when a car's alignment is off, it doesn't go straight anymore.

00:34:14.076 --> 00:34:18.626
The 6'8" 90 mile an hour 13-year-old.

00:34:18.835 --> 00:34:26.429
What a metaphor for the things that we face as leaders, as parents and all those things, and you touched on it.

00:34:26.429 --> 00:34:29.358
I'm going to get to kind of what we talked about a little bit before we hit record.

00:34:29.358 --> 00:34:53.123
With regards to, you know, the assessment that you have now, that you're working on and the study you've been doing, you talked about that player who's not focused on the game when he needs to be on the game, but he's thinking about home and being a husband and being a father all those things being very important but the mindset he's bringing home from the field to the home is keeping him from being present inside the home as well.

00:34:53.123 --> 00:34:54.606
What are some of those?

00:34:54.606 --> 00:34:58.485
You talk about this invisible four assessment that helps folks go through that.

00:34:58.485 --> 00:35:02.043
What is that assessment and what are those enemies that do that to us?

00:35:02.543 --> 00:35:05.016
Oh, so you want me to give away all my secrets now, isn't that?

00:35:05.016 --> 00:35:05.277
Oh you?

00:35:05.297 --> 00:35:09.576
don't have to give, give, give me two of them and then get the assessment from you.

00:35:10.398 --> 00:35:16.456
Our, our fearless leader, Rory Vaden, says give away your best content first, and I'm a big believer in that.

00:35:16.456 --> 00:35:18.942
So honestly, john, this is all.

00:35:18.942 --> 00:35:23.615
But think about it that the whole I just got done with work.

00:35:23.615 --> 00:35:31.963
I, I, you know, you use the athlete analogy I just went, oh for four, with four strikeouts, and I still need to go home to my wife and two kids.

00:35:31.963 --> 00:35:35.355
Guess what that's a role transition.

00:35:35.355 --> 00:35:38.579
So, yeah, I, so I.

00:35:39.440 --> 00:35:45.190
I just noticed this thing both in my own journey and then with my athletes and then my executives.

00:35:45.190 --> 00:35:53.161
The transition from work to home is tough, it's really tough.

00:35:53.161 --> 00:36:01.126
And then you know the constant stories of gosh JR I can't turn those four at those four at bats off at home.

00:36:01.126 --> 00:36:04.858
I can't turn off work at home, like I just I kept hearing this.

00:36:04.858 --> 00:36:20.182
So I went down a rabbit hole because I'm a I'm a nerd and did, did some study, because I'm like the term workaholism gets thrown around and in fact my own sister-in-law said this one day we were at dinner.

00:36:20.182 --> 00:36:20.905
This was years ago.

00:36:20.905 --> 00:36:25.304
She's like you're a workaholic and I'm like wait, what?

00:36:25.304 --> 00:36:26.429
What are you talking?

00:36:26.429 --> 00:36:29.382
You just called me.

00:36:29.382 --> 00:36:34.744
What, like that was moment number one, where I look in the mirror and go.

00:36:34.744 --> 00:36:36.088
Why did she say this?

00:36:36.088 --> 00:36:40.625
And it wasn't necessarily a reflection on me.

00:36:40.625 --> 00:36:46.784
It was a reflection on certain attributes we have as leaders and entrepreneurs and executives.

00:36:46.784 --> 00:36:59.847
So I, I did some digging and, john, it was like that moment where I'm like oh and I realized there's these four.

00:36:59.887 --> 00:37:02.271
I call them the four invisible opponents.

00:37:02.271 --> 00:37:06.766
We already talked about one of them professional identity and self-worth.

00:37:06.766 --> 00:37:17.704
You want to talk about what's driving guys like us, highly driven leaders, to not shut off work and to constantly be on.

00:37:17.704 --> 00:37:19.559
It's the fact that you know what.

00:37:19.559 --> 00:37:26.864
My role as an executive that's who I am Kind of like, that singular role as an athlete.

00:37:26.864 --> 00:37:32.701
It's funny my last game of college I came off the field I was bawling John.

00:37:32.701 --> 00:37:40.641
And it's funny my spicy Italian mom who, yes, wrapped the court around to the neighbor's house she house Because she knows I was ready to be done with college.

00:37:40.641 --> 00:37:46.789
Chicago boy, in Iowa, it's a five-year shelf life and she goes.

00:37:46.789 --> 00:37:48.050
Why are you crying?

00:37:48.050 --> 00:37:50.900
I thought you wanted to get out of here.

00:37:50.900 --> 00:37:55.818
And now I know why I was crying Because those athletes.

00:37:55.818 --> 00:37:56.686
I had fractured my hip twice.

00:37:56.686 --> 00:37:57.855
I knew I was going to play professionally.

00:37:57.855 --> 00:38:01.304
My days as an athlete were over and I was having a crisis professionally.

00:38:01.304 --> 00:38:03.208
My days as an athlete were over and I didn't know I was having a crisis.

00:38:03.288 --> 00:38:08.835
Right there on the field, we wrap ourselves and our self-worth in our professional identity.

00:38:08.835 --> 00:38:13.954
The other invisible point perfectionism, that quest for flawless execution.

00:38:13.954 --> 00:38:20.369
We've been driven as athletes, to just go and hit the ball right here and make sure we do this and take that.

00:38:20.369 --> 00:38:27.865
Here's the form Flawless execution, and when it's not perfect, we got to stay till it's right.

00:38:27.865 --> 00:38:33.697
The fear of underperformance, oh God.

00:38:33.697 --> 00:38:38.759
Well, if I don't answer this email or if I don't send this text message, I'm going to lose the deal.

00:38:38.759 --> 00:38:41.226
And then I'm going to right.

00:38:41.226 --> 00:38:45.425
But then the flip side of that is the adrenaline rush of success.

00:38:45.425 --> 00:38:48.882
Sure, we win and we want to win more.

00:38:48.882 --> 00:38:57.344
So we keep pushing and we keep pushing and pushing, because you know, when we stack wins and big wins, now everyone's going to see us as a winner, as a champion.

00:38:58.346 --> 00:39:08.445
I have found that those four things that wreaked havoc in us as athletes are the same four things that are wreaking havoc as us as professionals.

00:39:08.445 --> 00:39:19.927
So I created the assessment to help you know whoever takes it, figure out which one of those four are the biggest culprit in their lives.

00:39:19.927 --> 00:39:24.458
But then you know, to your question, like, what do we do?

00:39:24.458 --> 00:39:29.286
And, john, it goes back to all right, are you shutting down?

00:39:29.286 --> 00:39:34.063
Like, are you taking a timeout to say, all right, you know what?

00:39:34.063 --> 00:39:44.661
Here's where I'm at, here's what I'm feeling, let me get my body right, let's get my mind right, my heart right, and then start breaking down.

00:39:44.661 --> 00:39:51.262
You know, okay, this is what happened today, this is what needs to happen tomorrow.

00:39:51.262 --> 00:39:56.621
Okay, I'm good Time to go be a dad or time to go be a husband.

00:39:56.621 --> 00:39:59.027
That's the key.

00:39:59.027 --> 00:40:13.407
If we don't transition properly, those four opponents are going to keep wreaking havoc and, next thing you know it, our health goes out the window, our relationships go out the window and, yep, even our performance goes out the window.

00:40:15.215 --> 00:40:16.641
Love that and I appreciate you sharing it.

00:40:16.641 --> 00:40:19.739
You're right, roy does talk about sharing everything.

00:40:19.739 --> 00:40:21.804
He also says people don't pay for information.

00:40:21.804 --> 00:40:27.847
They pay for transformation and ultimately, that transformation is when they contact you afterward and say I need help.

00:40:27.847 --> 00:40:33.748
Going back to a story that I often tell about when you're not performing at the level recognize you need help.

00:40:33.748 --> 00:40:41.320
Recognize you need that coach to make that phone call to when you're nine or 10 years old that you're not getting you know and bringing that home.

00:40:41.320 --> 00:40:50.576
I appreciate you sharing it and I will put a link in the show notes for folks to get in touch with you, which is next question what is the best way for folks to connect with you?

00:40:50.576 --> 00:40:51.416
Jr.

00:40:52.097 --> 00:40:53.099
Yeah, absolutely so.

00:40:53.099 --> 00:41:04.202
If they want to take the assessment, just go to jamesreidcom J-A-M-E-S-R-E-I-Dcom forward slash assessment and it'll lead them to the assessment.

00:41:04.202 --> 00:41:08.434
Once they take the assessment, they'll get, obviously, the results.

00:41:08.434 --> 00:41:16.706
They'll get me showing which ones are wreaking havoc in their lives, and then I actually give them a copy of the white paper that.

00:41:16.726 --> 00:41:16.885
I wrote.

00:41:17.795 --> 00:41:21.507
It's not a boring black and white, 700-page white paper that I wrote.

00:41:21.507 --> 00:41:23.414
It's not a boring black and white, 700 page white paper.

00:41:23.414 --> 00:41:23.994
No, it, it, it.

00:41:23.994 --> 00:41:29.465
It opens the door and puts a microscope on what the heck is going on.

00:41:29.465 --> 00:41:34.782
And really it was my intention, john, just to show my audience and readers.

00:41:34.782 --> 00:41:40.742
It's not their fault, it really isn't their fault, it's just things they need to be aware of.

00:41:40.742 --> 00:41:45.664
So back to your you know, take action and then have impact.

00:41:45.664 --> 00:41:48.393
So go to take the assessment.

00:41:48.393 --> 00:41:49.255
They'll get everything there.

00:41:49.255 --> 00:41:54.579
They'll get my white paper and then, if they want to do some of the other free trainings that I got, that's, that's up to them.

00:41:54.579 --> 00:41:56.382
Social media I'm on all channels.

00:41:56.382 --> 00:42:00.563
It's just James and then JR Reed, so it's the same handle on all, all channels.

00:42:00.563 --> 00:42:05.197
It's just james and then jr reed, so it's the same handle on all, all channels there tell me about your podcast.

00:42:05.277 --> 00:42:06.661
You also host a podcast yourself.

00:42:06.681 --> 00:42:10.315
Tell me about that oh yeah, which you were a guest on.

00:42:10.998 --> 00:42:14.606
So it was it's grateful wait to, can't wait to publish that bad boy.

00:42:14.606 --> 00:42:17.077
So, yeah, have the coming up clutch with jr show.

00:42:17.077 --> 00:42:19.844
We we release an episode every week.

00:42:19.844 --> 00:42:37.681
We flip between having an interview and then I also have a segment, bi-weekly segment, called the five-minute drill, where I basically give a drill they can do around a certain topic that they can implement within five minutes.

00:42:37.681 --> 00:42:38.844
So five minutes.

00:42:38.844 --> 00:42:40.728
People are like why are you called the five-minute drill?

00:42:40.728 --> 00:42:42.898
It so love that five, five minutes.

00:42:42.898 --> 00:42:44.103
People's like why you call it the five minute trail?

00:42:44.123 --> 00:42:45.588
I had a coach, another coach, so there's two father figures.

00:42:45.608 --> 00:42:54.697
I had my life, one I shared with you as we started the segment, and then the second one was coach airs, who I was just an average high school player average.

00:42:54.697 --> 00:43:13.802
He made me an elite in one summer and one of the things he had was this five minute trail where he'd set up two cones and I had a shuffle between cones and he would hit ground balls to each cone and it went on for five straight minutes nonstop.

00:43:13.802 --> 00:43:20.036
First time I did that, I threw up, I threw up, I hated it.

00:43:20.036 --> 00:43:22.985
It was I hated it, john, okay.

00:43:22.985 --> 00:43:25.965
But then he did it again and I got better at it.

00:43:25.965 --> 00:43:34.443
And then he did it again and I got better at it, and then again and then it was like wait, five minutes is over and it turned me into an elite infielder.

00:43:34.443 --> 00:43:39.775
So I'm like that right there stuck with me for life.

00:43:39.775 --> 00:43:50.538
I want to pass that concept on to my listeners, so that's why I call it the five-minute drill, so they can literally it's going to help them become elite in whatever area we're talking about that particular day.

00:43:50.699 --> 00:43:51.702
So that's the show.

00:43:51.702 --> 00:43:52.925
I'll put the link there.

00:43:52.925 --> 00:43:54.039
I encourage folks to go listen.

00:43:54.039 --> 00:43:55.684
I just love listening more than anything else.

00:43:55.684 --> 00:43:58.418
Listen to JR's voice, but he's got some great tips on.

00:43:58.438 --> 00:44:02.806
Both sides the interviews that he does, as well as that five-minute drill that comes out on Fridays.

00:44:02.806 --> 00:44:04.429
It's good stuff, JR.

00:44:04.429 --> 00:44:05.070
Thank you so much.

00:44:05.070 --> 00:44:08.592
I know you added value to the listeners of the Uncommon Leader podcast.

00:44:08.592 --> 00:44:13.655
I'm going to give you the last word here before we jump out with the question that I finished up with all my first-time guests.

00:44:13.655 --> 00:44:15.197
I'm going to give you a billboard.

00:44:15.197 --> 00:44:17.039
You can put that thing anywhere you want to.

00:44:17.039 --> 00:44:21.666
What is the message you're going to put on that billboard to tell folks, and why do you put it on there?

00:44:22.387 --> 00:44:24.771
Oh man, you know what, john?

00:44:24.771 --> 00:44:27.856
I hope this is on a billboard someday.

00:44:27.856 --> 00:44:32.827
I hope, because it's really become my tagline marching order.

00:44:32.827 --> 00:44:39.181
Whatever you want to call it, it is, winning isn't a result, it's a lifestyle.

00:44:39.181 --> 00:44:41.460
That's the message.

00:44:41.460 --> 00:44:45.557
Again, it goes back to a lot of what we talked about.

00:44:45.557 --> 00:45:11.702
So many people are focused on the one result winning the Super Bowl, winning the World Series, getting the big deal, becoming CEO, whatever, selling the business and they realize, once that is accomplished I mean we see this with a lot of stories after Super Bowl champions and they're going broke and they're doing alcoholism and all this right that they realize the rest of their life is in shambles.

00:45:13.666 --> 00:45:20.340
So the reason why I stand by that and I want it on a billboard is to remind people that you know what Winning is about.

00:45:20.860 --> 00:45:33.954
Those wins, however big or small they are, in your relationships, in your health, in your finances, in your personal and professional development, in your community leadership, and on and on it goes.

00:45:33.954 --> 00:45:40.728
Whatever areas of life that you have, that winning is a lifestyle that you live day in and day out.

00:45:40.728 --> 00:45:50.123
It's not just this one event at one given time that comes with this particular status, it is a daily thing.

00:45:50.123 --> 00:46:02.175
And just because you didn't win in your career or your relationship that day doesn't mean you can't win in your finances or wherever else, whatever other area you have in your life.

00:46:02.175 --> 00:46:10.641
So that's why I say and every single one of my podcast episodes, with this too, john, it's like winning, don't forget this.

00:46:10.641 --> 00:46:13.307
Winning is a result, it's a lifestyle.

00:46:13.307 --> 00:46:32.018
So if we keep that perspective, next thing you know we are celebrating the wins more, we are getting the momentum we need and that when we again have a loss in one area of life, it doesn't carry over to the other areas of our lives.

00:46:33.262 --> 00:46:34.320
So cool, jr.

00:46:34.320 --> 00:46:35.494
Thank you so much, man.

00:46:35.494 --> 00:46:37.963
I think the folks are going to love this and I want you to share.

00:46:37.963 --> 00:46:41.364
I want the folks that are listening in to share this with somebody else who needs to hear it.

00:46:41.364 --> 00:46:42.856
No doubt about it, jr.

00:46:42.856 --> 00:46:44.461
I wish you the best going forward.

00:46:44.461 --> 00:46:45.143
Let's stay in touch.

00:46:45.143 --> 00:46:48.885
Our BBGers got to stay connected and close and keep winning, okay.

00:46:49.476 --> 00:46:51.014
Hey, john, you're amazing man.

00:46:51.014 --> 00:46:57.068
This podcast, the fact that it's called the Uncommon Leader it says everything about you.

00:46:57.068 --> 00:46:59.981
You are an uncommon leader, so I honor you.

00:46:59.981 --> 00:47:00.985
It says everything about you.

00:47:00.985 --> 00:47:03.054
You are an uncommon leader, so I honor you.

00:47:03.054 --> 00:47:09.429
I celebrate you for just giving people access to this medium, to this wisdom, to this knowledge that you're just projecting all over the world.

00:47:09.429 --> 00:47:11.222
So you're the best man.

00:47:11.222 --> 00:47:12.284
It was an honor to be here.

00:47:12.284 --> 00:47:18.139
I'm just glad you could stand me for this long we did it, man.

00:47:18.159 --> 00:47:19.204
Two hours worth, we did it.

00:47:19.204 --> 00:47:20.635
It was really cool, jr.

00:47:20.635 --> 00:47:21.500
Thanks so much again.

00:47:21.500 --> 00:47:28.226
Be well, and that wraps up another episode of the Uncommon Leader Podcast.

00:47:28.226 --> 00:47:29.400
Thanks for tuning in today.

00:47:29.400 --> 00:47:36.885
If you found value in this episode, I encourage you to share it with your friends, colleagues or anyone else who could benefit from the insights and inspiration we've shared.

00:47:36.885 --> 00:47:43.518
Also, if you have a moment, I'd greatly appreciate if you could leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast platform.

00:47:43.518 --> 00:47:51.378
Your feedback not only helps us to improve, but it also helps others discover the podcast and join our growing community of uncommon leaders.

00:47:51.378 --> 00:47:54.507
Until next time, go and grow champions.