WEBVTT
00:00:00.402 --> 00:00:32.981
So teaching people to build those pauses in, and what I always teach people I actually it's fun to like when I do like a big keynote event or even a workshop event and I'm working with people and what and I just drill into them I make them repeat this back by about like eight times during the course of the thing is pauses prevent saying stupid things stupid things.
00:00:33.000 --> 00:00:33.762
Hey, uncommon Leaders, welcome back.
00:00:33.762 --> 00:00:34.543
This is the Uncommon Leader podcast.
00:00:34.543 --> 00:00:37.009
I'm your host, john Gallagher, and I've got a great guest for you today.
00:00:37.009 --> 00:00:40.243
He's a second time guest as well, so we'll talk about that just a little bit.
00:00:40.243 --> 00:00:49.664
John Malara is a NASA rocket scientist turned photographer, and now keynote speaker and executive coach as well.
00:00:49.664 --> 00:00:52.369
I'm looking forward to our conversation today.
00:00:52.369 --> 00:01:03.069
We're going to talk about his new framework that he's been developing over the past couple of years, called Elite Level Action, and how he equips leaders with high performance and science-backed strategies.
00:01:03.069 --> 00:01:09.966
To move from hesitation to bold, confident action is what he's looking for in this space.
00:01:09.966 --> 00:01:20.792
I can't wait to hear not only how he does that, but how he's overcome some of these things in his journey, because he's talked about some of his challenges as well before and wrote about those, and we talked about on the last episode.
00:01:20.792 --> 00:01:23.743
John Malara, welcome back to the Uncommon Leader Podcast.
00:01:23.743 --> 00:01:24.265
How are you doing?
00:01:24.986 --> 00:01:25.748
I'm well, my brother.
00:01:25.748 --> 00:01:26.650
Thank you for having me.
00:01:26.650 --> 00:01:29.034
It's good to be back after two and a half years.
00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:35.203
You know I looked at that as I prepared for the podcast.
00:01:35.203 --> 00:01:36.628
I'm like, how has it been two and a half years since we've had that?
00:01:36.628 --> 00:01:44.887
And then you know you look at this 150, some episodes later, you know we've grown and maybe let's start right there, even before we get into elite level action.
00:01:44.887 --> 00:01:52.468
In terms of what you're going to talk about, what's been going on in your life, how have you grown the last couple of years in your leadership journey?
00:01:53.670 --> 00:02:21.234
Yeah, when, when we talked last and I think probably very in the winter of 2023, I was, I was just coming into my imposter syndrome talks where I was just hitting stride with that, helping people understand ways to not feel like a fraud, and it was starting to get traction, but it never really developed the traction that I thought it should.
00:02:21.234 --> 00:02:32.362
People would love the talks, but I was having trouble getting bookings and getting into places and I was talking with one of our coaches and brand builders group, which is how you and I met.
00:02:32.362 --> 00:02:36.031
I said man, elizabeth, it's just not grabbing.
00:02:36.031 --> 00:02:36.853
I don't get it.
00:02:36.853 --> 00:02:39.405
And she said what's your talk called?
00:02:39.405 --> 00:02:41.570
And I said Unmasking Imposter Syndrome.
00:02:41.570 --> 00:02:42.662
She said who are you looking to help?
00:02:42.662 --> 00:02:44.085
I'm like high performers.
00:02:44.085 --> 00:02:47.681
She's like do you think a high performer wants to admit they have some kind of a syndrome?
00:02:49.163 --> 00:02:55.112
So, you know, like they hit the brakes, you know, at the end of 2023.
00:02:55.112 --> 00:03:01.867
And I was like, well, whoops, totally missed the boat on that.
00:03:01.867 --> 00:03:15.086
So I took that, took that you know, unmasking imposter syndrome content, which was which was really powerful, really well received when I could get in to talk to people about it and I thought, all right, what do I need to do?
00:03:15.086 --> 00:03:17.132
You know what would high performers like?
00:03:17.132 --> 00:03:29.221
And my buddy, william, who's a 26 year veteran, the navy seal teams has a keynote called Navy SEAL mindset and I'm thinking like what's that even mean, william?
00:03:29.221 --> 00:03:37.264
But then I'm like I don't care what it means, like Navy SEALs are, like I want a Navy SEAL mindset, right.
00:03:37.947 --> 00:03:39.292
So I took the same content.
00:03:39.292 --> 00:03:55.516
I had the unmasking imposter syndrome content that you and I talked about two and a half years ago and I totally rebranded it as elite level confidence and that took off and that took off into this elite level kind of ecosystem that I've built out.
00:03:55.516 --> 00:03:57.801
So that's what's been going on with me.
00:03:57.801 --> 00:04:13.305
I totally fell on my face after we talked, went back, you back, got my coach involved, because how powerful is that to have some outside perspective poured into you and then be able to receive that and then give yourself some grace and go again.
00:04:13.305 --> 00:04:17.622
So that's the short list of what's been happening since we talked two and a half years ago.
00:04:18.363 --> 00:04:19.125
No, I appreciate that.
00:04:19.125 --> 00:04:22.822
I mean again the fact that you and I are both still on that journey.
00:04:22.822 --> 00:04:25.529
We know we still have a ways to go in terms of what we're doing.
00:04:25.529 --> 00:04:43.410
We're not experts by any means, but just to listen through that, and rather than talking about the gap as the title, we talk about the outcome and what's going to be the result of the work, this elite level confidence that folks are going to experience when they overcome some of these things.
00:04:43.410 --> 00:04:43.930
So I love that.
00:04:43.930 --> 00:04:51.024
I mean Rory and AJ just came out with their book as we're recording this podcast.
00:04:51.084 --> 00:04:51.425
Uh, what is it?
00:04:51.425 --> 00:04:52.007
What did they refer to it?
00:04:52.007 --> 00:04:52.649
As wealthy and well-known.
00:04:52.649 --> 00:04:55.687
Certainly, when you pick up the book covering, you say what do I want?
00:04:55.687 --> 00:04:58.399
I would definitely want to be wealthy and well-known.
00:04:58.399 --> 00:05:03.048
I would definitely want elite level confidence or, frankly, Navy SEAL mindset as well.
00:05:03.048 --> 00:05:14.225
Uh, Navy, those Navy SEALs guys are beasts, no doubt about it, and to learn from them would be very important, so let's jump there.
00:05:14.225 --> 00:05:15.468
Then You've converted it over to this elite level confidence.
00:05:15.468 --> 00:05:17.351
What does that framework mean to you?
00:05:17.351 --> 00:05:23.372
What are the outcomes and who are you talking to when you're giving this talk or doing this teaching?
00:05:23.935 --> 00:05:27.802
Yeah, absolutely so, the people that I love to help.
00:05:27.802 --> 00:05:33.494
As Rory has told us, you are best suited to serve the you that you used to be.
00:05:33.494 --> 00:05:40.120
So for 15 years I led test operations for NASA and elite military units All across the planet.
00:05:40.120 --> 00:05:47.033
We led missions that landed on Mars successfully One of them didn't land successfully, so I know how that feels too.
00:05:47.033 --> 00:06:06.293
So I led these teams and, even though I was operating at an elite level, I really never felt like I belonged there and I didn't have the confidence to really make the most out of that time that I had there.
00:06:06.293 --> 00:06:11.807
So I just always felt stuck, even though like to the outside world, like I seemed like I was performing at these elite levels.
00:06:11.939 --> 00:06:25.425
So the way I developed my content was to help people that are always talking about like one day, one day I want to do this, one day I want to do that, and I'm like all right, stop talking about one day and let's get you started on day one.
00:06:25.425 --> 00:06:49.769
So I provide people a framework, which are which are my six checkpoints to help them just not only get into action towards what they want, but also give them the tools to keep going in a sustainable way, because it's one thing to get going like out of the gate, like at a hundred percent, and you're running full speed, like you.
00:06:49.769 --> 00:06:51.519
Just you just ran a Spartan race, right?
00:06:51.519 --> 00:06:53.105
Or you and you're getting ready to run another one.
00:06:53.105 --> 00:06:57.146
So am I like you don't run out at full speed, right?
00:06:57.146 --> 00:06:58.952
This is this is this is a process.
00:06:58.952 --> 00:07:00.959
So that's the framework I developed.
00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:03.584
It's a framework to get people moving into action.
00:07:03.584 --> 00:07:09.535
But once they get moving in action, to take that consistent action, those steps to get the results that they're after.
00:07:11.060 --> 00:07:15.831
I love that and I wrote this down as you were talking one day versus day one.
00:07:15.831 --> 00:07:20.810
I love the play on words that goes there, the pillar point, however we end up defining it as you go forward.
00:07:20.810 --> 00:07:32.011
But because I think about that when you talked about one day, I often hear folks say soon or some, and I often tell them some is not a number and soon is not a time.
00:07:32.011 --> 00:07:34.281
You talk about that.
00:07:34.281 --> 00:07:49.774
I believe at times, when we say things like that is, the key word might be procrastination, and you say that procrastination isn't laziness, but certainly this may be one of the barriers that we have to overcome to get to elite level.
00:07:49.774 --> 00:07:59.774
So, before we talk about the six steps, tell me more about procrastination and what that means to you and how we recognize it and how we view procrastination.
00:08:00.555 --> 00:08:00.716
Right.
00:08:00.716 --> 00:08:09.865
So one of the ways that we view procrastination, and not only procrastination I call these the big three overthinking, perfectionism and procrastination.
00:08:09.865 --> 00:08:15.007
I call them the big three and I lump them all together and I say'm a perfectionist or I'm a procrastinator.
00:08:15.007 --> 00:08:37.587
But overthinking perfectionism, procrastination, john, they're actually symptoms, they're not the root cause.
00:08:37.587 --> 00:08:47.221
So what I help people see is that overthinking perfectionism, procrastination is a symptom and what they're a symptom of is fear.
00:08:47.221 --> 00:08:57.491
Fear is the symptom that actually causes us to overthink, get stuck in these like just endless loops of trying to make it a little bit better and tweak it here and there.
00:08:57.491 --> 00:08:58.562
It's not quite ready.
00:08:58.562 --> 00:09:03.307
One day I'm gonna put it out when it's perfect, right, right.
00:09:03.307 --> 00:09:09.341
So the reason why those are symptoms of fear is because we're scared to put ourselves out there.
00:09:09.341 --> 00:09:15.474
So we come up with what I call these brave delays to just stall it out.
00:09:18.600 --> 00:09:19.861
Brave delays.
00:09:19.861 --> 00:09:33.381
I love that and, again, I love that word in terms of fear, that it manifests itself in that space of being afraid of putting ourselves out there, even going back again to what we talked about a couple of years ago with regards to imposter syndrome.
00:09:33.381 --> 00:09:35.149
But fear is that big thing.
00:09:35.149 --> 00:09:38.149
So you've got this framework to help them overcome this fear.
00:09:38.149 --> 00:09:43.465
Then, right, and you got this in terms of six steps and we won't have time to go through all six of those.
00:09:43.465 --> 00:09:49.731
But, frankly, how do folks get started first in recognizing the fear and then overcoming that fear as well?
00:09:50.312 --> 00:09:50.491
Right.
00:09:50.491 --> 00:09:53.596
So a lot of times it comes, it comes down to asking yourself a better question.
00:09:53.596 --> 00:10:00.222
And a lot of times when we ask ourselves these question of why can't I just get started?
00:10:00.222 --> 00:10:00.803
Why can't I just do this?
00:10:00.803 --> 00:10:01.004
Why can't?
00:10:01.004 --> 00:10:01.085
Why?
00:10:01.085 --> 00:10:02.226
Why do I think so much about this?
00:10:02.226 --> 00:10:06.735
Like those questions, like they just keep us stuck.
00:10:06.735 --> 00:10:11.030
So the better question to ask is what am I scared of?
00:10:11.030 --> 00:10:15.988
And drilling down to that it might take a couple times.
00:10:15.988 --> 00:10:18.365
So I call it the five whys.
00:10:18.365 --> 00:10:23.960
You know, and we're looking through these golden threads of themes throughout stuff.
00:10:23.960 --> 00:10:42.846
So if we keep drilling down and saying why, like, let say someone, like we were just talking about Spartan races Like, let's say, someone has a health goal that they're going after and they're just procrastinating with walking 10 minutes a day, like something always comes up, it's like ask yourself what are you scared of?
00:10:43.442 --> 00:10:46.234
something always comes up.
00:10:46.234 --> 00:10:47.679
It's like ask yourself what are you scared of?
00:10:47.679 --> 00:10:48.740
Like?
00:10:48.740 --> 00:10:49.142
Well, I'm not scared.
00:10:49.142 --> 00:10:51.870
When you think about fear and in that we talked about that 10,000 steps a day.
00:10:51.870 --> 00:10:56.886
Again, I wouldn't have thought five years ago that I ever would have considered signing up for a Spartan race.
00:10:56.886 --> 00:11:04.067
And then to realize and again I think that probably needing others to go along that journey has been very important, but there's a.
00:11:04.067 --> 00:11:06.412
You know, that's five years that I lost.
00:11:06.412 --> 00:11:09.418
You talk about the cost of procrastination.
00:11:09.418 --> 00:11:13.971
What's the actual cost of procrastinating that folks don't even realize?
00:11:15.134 --> 00:11:30.946
The biggest one is is the mental load that we are taking on because of all the little things that we're not doing, like those are getting tucked away in our brain and it's just, it's just cluttering up our brain, like if we think of our brain like a computer.
00:11:31.788 --> 00:11:39.910
You know we've all had the computer that just has too many tabs open and it's just going so slow and you got to just, you know, kind of reboot everything.
00:11:39.910 --> 00:11:48.629
Right, I had too many tabs open on your phone and you're, you got to reboot the phone, our brains, like that, and all these little things that we procrastinate on that.
00:11:48.629 --> 00:11:52.073
I'll do those tomorrow, I'll do those one day.
00:11:52.073 --> 00:12:01.139
But here's the truth Tomorrow never shows up wearing a cape to save the day, does it?
00:12:01.139 --> 00:12:07.950
Tomorrow's going to show up, you know, wearing this like sleek kind of overcoat with all these tailored pockets where it's going to hide more excuses to hand to you and be like here's your excuse today.
00:12:07.950 --> 00:12:08.730
You're off the hook.
00:12:08.730 --> 00:12:16.448
And those gloves that tomorrow's wearing when it hands you these envelopes of all these excuses you get, those gloves are not because they're fashionable.
00:12:16.509 --> 00:12:35.657
Tomorrow's wearing those to keep its fingerprints off of your stolen time the idea behind overcoming that cost and recognizing, in essence, defining what the reason for action is, that you need to take this elite level action.
00:12:35.657 --> 00:12:41.808
What do you see in your coaching of others and your conversations of others?
00:12:41.808 --> 00:12:48.307
Are things outside of that fear that just keep them from getting started?
00:12:48.307 --> 00:12:51.698
And what's the one way you overcame that fear to?
00:12:51.719 --> 00:12:59.402
get started and again it goes back to being aware of it, like being honest with yourself, be like what am I really scared of?
00:12:59.402 --> 00:13:09.655
And when we can understand that the human brain hates change, just by nature it associates change with danger.
00:13:09.655 --> 00:13:14.371
So I would say, like you know, change or danger is what your brain thinks anytime you try to do something different.
00:13:14.371 --> 00:13:21.629
That's why your brain would rather keep you in something that is familiar but not serving you well.
00:13:21.629 --> 00:13:30.784
It would rather keep you in something that's familiar and not serving you well than do something different where your brain doesn't exactly know what's going to happen.
00:13:32.371 --> 00:13:37.462
So if we just stay on autopilot and allow our brain to just run the show like that, nothing's going to change.
00:13:37.462 --> 00:13:49.522
But the beautiful part is we get to engage that wonderful prefrontal cortex of our brain that makes us human, that separates us from my dog who's sitting on the couch here, of our brain, that makes us human, that separates us, you know, from my dog who's sitting on the couch here.
00:13:49.522 --> 00:13:59.154
We get to engage that prefrontal cortex and interrupt that thought and be like okay, I recognize I'm freaking out right now because my brain, I'm getting ready to change and my brain is trying to keep me safe.
00:13:59.154 --> 00:14:13.842
And that's where it's like thank you, brain, I got it from here and stepping in and actively making that choice to push through the fear, but recognizing that it's really just a natural response to things but it's not valid.
00:14:18.150 --> 00:14:34.774
So let's move into practical strategies and, in terms of how folks are able to overcome this, take me through the six leverage points for success that you talk about real quick and then maybe talk about one of those and how somebody might be able to implement a habit to help make that change.
00:14:35.797 --> 00:14:36.278
Absolutely.
00:14:36.278 --> 00:14:49.041
So the six points that I talk about are, you know, the first is confidence, because without having this innate belief that we can do difficult things, you know, we just stay stuck.
00:14:49.041 --> 00:14:50.556
So there's confidence.
00:14:50.556 --> 00:14:56.910
And then, once we start building up our confidence, then it's all about taking action, you know.
00:14:56.910 --> 00:14:59.038
So there are the first two confidence, action.
00:14:59.038 --> 00:15:05.629
And then, once we get moving into action, now the important part is keeping up that momentum right.
00:15:05.629 --> 00:15:07.807
So I have strategies and frameworks to keep people going with momentum.
00:15:07.807 --> 00:15:10.004
And so so I come, I, I, I have strategies and frameworks to keep people going with momentum.
00:15:10.004 --> 00:15:17.375
And then, once we get moving, you know we've got, we're starting to build our confidence, we're taking action, we're, we're starting to build up a head of steam, you know, like a train.
00:15:17.375 --> 00:15:23.894
Now the important part is we got to keep our focus because you, you and I are, are, are, are both.
00:15:24.096 --> 00:15:25.317
You know big football fans.
00:15:25.317 --> 00:15:29.844
You know you've got WVU, mountaineers, penn State and the Lions.
00:15:29.844 --> 00:15:34.397
You know my poor father had to go to University of Pittsburgh, but at least he got to play there.
00:15:34.397 --> 00:15:56.172
You know last guy to win 33 before Tony Dorsett, and one of the things my dad always talked about with football was when you have the ball and you are going towards the end zone, you never, ever, ever, look to the side to see who's beside you and you never look behind you to see who's coming for you.
00:15:56.172 --> 00:16:00.042
He said that is the quickest way that you will lose the game and get dropped.
00:16:00.042 --> 00:16:10.698
And that is so much the way it is in our life, right, like if we start taking action, building momentum, and all of a sudden you start looking like, oh, what's everyone else doing?
00:16:10.698 --> 00:16:12.753
Or oh, wow, they're a little bit steps ahead.
00:16:12.753 --> 00:16:16.120
Well, guess what, you just got tackled, right.
00:16:16.120 --> 00:16:22.799
So that's why that fourth point that I have is maintaining focus on your actions.
00:16:22.799 --> 00:16:41.226
And then the fifth one is building structures into our relationship and having the structures in our relationships that enable us to do our best and not get, you know, diverted into, like people pleasing behavior, which I'm a recovering people pleaser everybody.
00:16:41.226 --> 00:16:49.043
So you know how do we build these structures and set these boundaries in our relationship, not to keep people out, but to keep the relationships healthy.
00:16:49.650 --> 00:17:01.081
And then the final point that I work on with people is legacy, and legacy is not something that's far off.
00:17:01.081 --> 00:17:18.205
Legacy is something that we build moment to moment, right now that, when we meet the future version of ourselves, that we want that future version of ourselves to say, hey, john man, thanks for showing up for me all those years ago, all those weeks ago, all those months ago.
00:17:18.205 --> 00:17:24.323
Thank you for showing up and making the difficult decisions then so we can live the life that we want now.
00:17:24.323 --> 00:17:26.576
That's the point of legacy.
00:17:26.576 --> 00:17:32.141
So that's how I actually frame it with people to help them get moving into action.
00:17:32.162 --> 00:17:38.179
One of the first things we do when I work with someone one-on-one is I help them understand who they want to be.
00:17:38.179 --> 00:17:44.125
I say, like, who's this future you that you want, and I have frameworks and questions to help them figure out.
00:17:44.125 --> 00:17:46.459
You know, four foundational points to help them define that future you.
00:17:46.459 --> 00:17:54.013
Four foundational points to help them define that future you, because that's what will get you into action on those days where you don't want to do the thing in front of you.
00:17:54.476 --> 00:17:56.605
Hey, uncommon Leaders, hope you're enjoying the episode.
00:17:56.605 --> 00:17:57.067
So far.
00:17:57.067 --> 00:18:00.684
I believe in doing business with people you like and trust, and not just a company name.
00:18:00.684 --> 00:18:05.173
That's why a strong personal brand is essential, whether you're an entrepreneur or a leader within a company.
00:18:05.173 --> 00:18:12.519
Brand Builders Group, the folks who have been helping me refine my own personal brand are offering a free consultation call with one of their expert brand strategists.
00:18:12.519 --> 00:18:18.603
They'll help you identify your uniqueness, craft a compelling story and develop a step-by-step plan to elevate your impact.
00:18:18.603 --> 00:18:34.401
So head on over to coachjohngallaghercom slash BBG, as in Brand Builders Group, to schedule your free call and take the first step toward building a personal brand that gets you noticed for all the right reasons.
00:18:34.401 --> 00:18:35.202
That's coachjohngallaghercom slash BBG.
00:18:35.222 --> 00:18:35.986
Now let's get back to the episode.
00:18:35.986 --> 00:18:40.656
You know I love the analogy you use on the focus as well, in terms of not looking to the side.
00:18:40.656 --> 00:18:52.304
Just keep your eyes down the field and running straight down the field, and once you start to look to the side or what anyone else is doing, it can be something that is going to get you tackled.
00:18:52.304 --> 00:18:53.192
It's going to slow you down.
00:18:53.192 --> 00:18:53.795
Whatever that is.
00:18:53.795 --> 00:19:03.830
So keeping your focus and I would imagine some of the disciplines you've had to put in place to keep there, to keep you consistent, is very important inside of that focus.
00:19:03.830 --> 00:19:13.137
What's one way you've been able to build discipline to help you stay focused in your work, john, that others could implement in their lives?
00:19:13.898 --> 00:19:14.400
Yeah, so.
00:19:14.400 --> 00:19:31.063
So with any any of these, these, these points that we're that we're talking about today, the biggest thing that we want to do is shift out of this mindset of autopilot that we're on, where we're just kind of bebopping along and doing everything like we normally do, and shift out this mentality of just being on autopilot and being aware of things.
00:19:31.063 --> 00:19:35.297
And, like this happened to me in the past 48 hours.
00:19:35.297 --> 00:19:37.863
Right, like I was, I was on Instagram.
00:19:37.863 --> 00:19:44.971
Someone popped up in my feed that that I know we're, we're in similar spaces and they had this whole post.
00:19:44.971 --> 00:19:48.821
And I'm like how, how did they do that and why am I stuck here?
00:19:48.821 --> 00:19:52.962
And like I, you know, I had myself a little pity party.
00:19:52.962 --> 00:19:55.332
I went to negative town, you know, for a while.
00:19:55.332 --> 00:20:05.522
So that was my automatic behavior, you know, like I was stressed about something else, I was tired, there was other things going on in my life, and like it just caught me.
00:20:05.522 --> 00:20:19.073
You know, my guards were down, I took my eyes off the goal of where I want to go, which has nothing to do with this person at all, and you know I done got myself tackled.
00:20:19.574 --> 00:20:28.319
So the goal, then, is to switch, becoming aware of it, realize like, okay, right, I'm comparing myself to other people.
00:20:28.319 --> 00:20:34.136
And the important thing is, once you become aware of something, is not to slide into judgment.
00:20:34.136 --> 00:20:37.699
We can be so judgmental of ourselves, right.
00:20:37.699 --> 00:20:47.480
And when you're aware and judgmental, that's when you can become like a really big critic I should be doing this, I shouldn't be doing that, I can't believe, yeah.
00:20:47.480 --> 00:20:56.698
So the goal is, once we become aware, one of the frameworks I teach in my masterclass is shifting out of autopilot into awareness.
00:20:56.758 --> 00:21:00.391
And when you get into awareness, the opposite of judgment is being curious.
00:21:00.391 --> 00:21:06.163
And when you can be aware and you can be curious, you become what I call a seeker.
00:21:06.163 --> 00:21:10.316
Be aware and you can be curious.
00:21:10.316 --> 00:21:11.218
You become what I call a seeker.
00:21:11.218 --> 00:21:12.541
Now you're getting in the problem solving mode.
00:21:12.541 --> 00:21:14.666
When you're aware and curious, now you're a seeker.
00:21:14.666 --> 00:21:15.990
And now you're going towards something.
00:21:15.990 --> 00:21:18.096
And now you're asking action-based questions.
00:21:18.096 --> 00:21:25.671
You're seeking for the truth, you're seeking for what's next, you're seeking what you want and you're being aware and you're just being curious.
00:21:25.671 --> 00:21:26.473
There's no judgment.
00:21:33.210 --> 00:21:34.234
You talked about that story 48 hours ago.
00:21:34.234 --> 00:21:34.778
How did you become aware?
00:21:34.778 --> 00:21:36.446
How did you recognize it, because it's probably a muscle you have to train?
00:21:36.446 --> 00:21:36.689
How did you?
00:21:36.729 --> 00:21:36.910
do that.
00:21:36.910 --> 00:21:40.278
Yeah, I was like I just found myself spiraling right.
00:21:40.278 --> 00:21:45.455
I'm like man, like I came up with all the stories, like it seems to be so easy for this person.
00:21:45.455 --> 00:21:46.778
Everything's difficult for me.
00:21:46.778 --> 00:21:49.903
Why am I even you know, creating this course like kind of thing.
00:21:49.903 --> 00:21:53.294
I'm like stop, like wait a minute.
00:21:53.334 --> 00:22:01.220
One of our worst, one of our worst critics is ourselves, normally as we go through, and we have to learn even then to recognize that, that that voice doesn't exist.
00:22:01.220 --> 00:22:07.938
You, you started it off with some of the symptoms and you actually refer almost in not that you were, but in declarative statements.
00:22:07.938 --> 00:22:25.152
Some people think they're I am an overthinker or I am a procrastinator or I am a perfectionist, and so when we recognize or label ourselves in that negative space, then that's going to be kind of where the direction we turn, just like looking at the line on the side of the road as we're going to move toward.
00:22:25.152 --> 00:22:32.105
But if you can ultimately be aware, I love that be curious and seek what you want as a positive.
00:22:32.105 --> 00:22:47.510
I am a leader, I am a strong person and I am successful Ultimately, even if you take that in the faith side that I am a child of God, I'm not who I'm trying to call myself in that negative and that's not me speaking.
00:22:47.971 --> 00:22:49.432
That awareness is so important.
00:22:49.432 --> 00:22:54.657
If you can find a methodology to step out of that, inside of that framework, to say no, no, no.
00:22:54.657 --> 00:23:03.286
Let's become curious and seek a solution versus recognizing and identifying with the symptom that is there, I love that.
00:23:03.286 --> 00:23:04.267
Thank you for sharing that.
00:23:04.267 --> 00:23:10.251
Do you have a special story or a win with a client that you've helped overcome?
00:23:10.251 --> 00:23:12.497
That's been really a good feeling for you.
00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:19.877
Yeah, absolutely One of the folks that I've been able to work with one-on-one.
00:23:19.877 --> 00:23:35.357
There was a lot of very high performer like uber high performer and a very critical field, a lot of stress, a lot of high performer like uber high performer and like a very critical field, you know, a lot of stress, a lot of high states like literal life and death stuff, and it came down to a lot of communication.
00:23:35.357 --> 00:23:49.502
It wasn't the skills that they lacked, it was the way they were communicating with other people, not understanding how they actually benefited best from communicating or being communicated to also.
00:23:49.502 --> 00:24:04.693
So one of the first things I have people do and I work one-on-one with them is do the Enneagram test, which is how do you communicate, just naturally, how do you receive messages, and it builds a lot of awareness.
00:24:04.693 --> 00:24:16.856
It's in like, oh well, that's why whenever I talk to this person like, or this type of person, or this communication style person like it just bristles the hair on your neck, and other people like it can just flow.
00:24:16.856 --> 00:24:28.557
So having that self-awareness was so powerful for this client, they're like oh well, that's why it just automatically puts me in the red when someone communicates with me like this.
00:24:28.557 --> 00:24:32.242
And the beautiful part is once you understand yourself.
00:24:32.242 --> 00:24:35.493
Now, now, now you got some information to work with.
00:24:35.493 --> 00:24:37.419
Now you can be like okay, what's the truth here?
