WEBVTT
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And if I can do it, you can do it.
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And then do it with a smile, do it with laughter, do it with grace, do it with tolerance, and do it with probably the most important word, which is love.
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And so, David, so when you see that book, because look at the title, there's a very important reason why that title is becoming ten.
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I'm Ken today.
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I'm a kind and gentle 62-year-old black male.
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But before you didn't call me Ken.
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You called me my street name or my concentration, or you call me ex-convict, or you call me arm robber, or you call me kidnapper.
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All the things I have done.
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That's what you call me.
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You call me drug addict or crackhead or alcoholic.
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That's what you called me.
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But today just call me Ken.
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It's not Mr.
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Miller, you know, whatever certificates I have behind my name.
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It's not that.
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Just call me Ken.
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And that's what I became.
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And I'm very, very comfortable with being that.
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So when you see that book and you see Becoming Ken, become the best you because you can.
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Uncommon leaders, welcome back.
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This is the Uncommon Leader Podcast.
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I'm your host, John Gallagher, and today I'm honored to have a guest whose journey truly embodies the spirit of an uncommon leader.
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He's gone from Ivy League to incarceration, from prison to the president of Denali Financial Strategies and Planning.
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Quite a story that we're going to learn a lot about today.
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And he's the author of the powerful new book, Becoming Ken.
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Those of you watched on YouTube, you can see it behind his shoulder and a QR code to learn more about him as well.
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But he's a true testament to what I think is the power of resilience.
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He's a champion for those who believe in second chances.
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We're going to learn a lot about that as well.
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And a living example that your past does not define your future, and that we are most powerfully positioned to help the people that we once were.
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So we're going to get to the core of that as we go through it and ultimately how we can lead from authenticity and from purpose.
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So, Ken, welcome to the Uncommon Leader Podcast.
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Great to have you on the show.
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How are you doing today?
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Oh, I'm doing fantastic.
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I'm looking forward to it.
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And thank you, John, for inviting me to be a guest.
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Absolutely, Ken.
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Well, we're going to get into it right off the bat.
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I'm going to jump right into your book and I'm going to read an excerpt from your introduction that's going to kick things off and get you going right off the bat.
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So here's what it said.
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I still had a single rock of crack in my pocket.
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And for one of the only times in my life, I didn't smoke it.
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Instead, I decided to sell it.
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Let me say that again.
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I was a chronic user with a pipe in hand day and night, yet I was about to hand that rock to someone else.
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Could that have been divine intervention?
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Who knows?
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But I approached a car in the Quick Mart lot that in hindsight screamed undercover.
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I handed the driver the rock, took the 20, and turned away.
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And then sirens shouting, hands pulling me down onto scorching asphalt.
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Yeah, I was there.
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That's me.
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But you know, how do how did I get there?
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You know, how did I get there?
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Yeah, before we get started, I've always liked to allow the listeners and the people that are looking and observing this podcast to understand that today I'm a successful businessman.
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I own five businesses.
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I'm very successful in a lot of worlds.
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And we'll get a chance, hopefully, to talk about some of those.
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But to get to that point, I had to overcome some obstacles and overcome really me.
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You know, you can blame it on environmental, you can blame it on, you know, people, how they've treated you.
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But in the end, it was a lot of it was my self-talk and how I looked at the world.
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So to set a foundation, to set the table for who I am today, but how I got to the person I am to be an uncommon leader.
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Let's start off at birth.
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1962, my mother was a white teenage runaway.
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My dad was a black pimp and drug dealer.
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That's what he was.
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I am the byproduct of that quote-unquote relationship.
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I was put up for adoption at birth.
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Biracial children were not very common in 1962.
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In some places, it would have been even worse, but this was New York at least.
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And so I was put up for adoption.
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And I went through, I wasn't adopted, but I went through the foster care system for six years.
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At age six, I was adopted by Irene and Sam Miller.
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At that point, I could not read, I could not write, I could not tell time, nor could I even tie my shoes at age six.
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So I had to learn something in that first few months.
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But I was broken going into that relationship.
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I fell in love with reading once I was taught how to read.
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And by the second grade, I was reading at the fifth grade level.
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I was what you would call precocious.
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I was a national merit scholar at age 17.
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I was accepted to Harvard.
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I went to Dartmouth Ivy League as my undergrad.
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And while in Dartmouth, I unfortunately graduated with a major in fraternity with a minor in drinking.
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That was my major.
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But I did get out.
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Went to my first treatment center, and I can go through this somewhat quickly.
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Within two years, I relapsed off of my first opportunity of being sober at age 21.
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And by the time I was 23, I was homeless.
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And I mean homeless on the streets.
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And I was to spend the next 20 years either homeless in treatment and halfway houses or incarcerated.
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I am a three-time convicted felon.
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I've been to prison three different occasions.
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And on the last bit, I did three years for the drug sales of a$10 rock of crack cocaine.
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But I always remember what the judge said to me at that point when I was being sentenced for the third felony.
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He said to me, Mr.
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Miller, if you come in my courtroom one more time, and a felony is stealing$51 as a felony in the state of Nevada.
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He said, I will give you the habitual criminal statute, which is 25 to life.
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That was in 2004.
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Some people say, Did you believe him?
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I tell people, I still believe him.
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What do you mean, did I believe him?
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I still believe in him.
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And then 21 years later, I just celebrated 21 years clean and sober on the 23rd of September of this year.
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So I have some time underneath my, but there was still a lot of growth.
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But that gets you a just a very basic on some of the things that I had to overcome.
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There are more, but we call it resilience.
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But really what it is is the comeback from the setback.
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And I had a few setbacks along the way.
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And you know, even when I got out, there were some things I still needed to work on just to be able to do life well.
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I appreciate you sharing.
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Uh and then again, the other word we kind of talked about even before we hit the record button was vulnerability in terms of sharing your story.
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And yeah, overcome would be uh one of the words, resilience would be another word, and you know, adversity, you know.
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I mean, some people face adversity when they try to get into school, but you've clearly faced a significant amount of adversity uh on your way to success.
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Now, it might have been that moment uh where you heard that and maybe you still hear that today, but what's been the most difficult mindset shift for you to move from you know the challenges that you had, and you probably frankly uh still face those challenges every day, personally in your mind, to success?
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I don't face too many challenges to success.
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I am successful.
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I'm also well, and what I mean by that is I do life well.
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There's a thing we call the vicissitudes of life.
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Those are the ups and downs.
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I handle them well.
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I'm competent to life, but I solve the same problems in any other human.
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I have relationship situations.
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We have health issues with older cohort.
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There's financial things that happen in my businesses.
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I own five businesses.
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So believe me, between the five, there's financial things that come up.
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But I'm competent to them, or I have individuals that either work for me or contract with me that are competent and can handle, let's say, the business part.
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But I you you had mentioned something about what the judge said.
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What the judge said didn't really resonate.
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I remember it.
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I remember it very well, but that wasn't going to change me.
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I've been threatened with a lot of things.
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I've been threatened with guns, with knives, with you know, sentences, uh, with uh the prosecutor.
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So I've been threatened.
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That part doesn't make change for me, you know, because all it is to me is you're threatening me with more pain.
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I have a very high pain threshold.
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You could not live the way I lived as a street level addict and alcoholic without having a high pain threshold.
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But then again, the pain threshold is limited.
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And at some point you want the pain to end, and that's when suicide becomes a viable.
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And I've been I've had suicide attempts, two of them years ago.
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So I'm not there anymore.
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But anyway, I would like to just talk real quick about the pivot.
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So I I was arrested September 22nd, 2004.
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And uh I went into jail.
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I celebrate September 23rd, is my sobriety date.
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It's the day after I was arrested.
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October of that year, 2004, I was laying on my bunk, Unit 13, Parr Boulevard, which is in the jail for Washoe County in Nevada.
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And God spoke to me.
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God's been speaking to me often, and you can define it any way you want to, but it's a conversation I'm having in my head that is outside of my needs, wants, desires that I would say is positive.
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And so what the conversation very simply said is that your journey is not going to be without discomfort, it's not going to be without pain, but I will be there.
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And together we can walk through this.
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We can walk through this.
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And ever since that day, I've been cool.
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I've been cool.
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I've had definitely challenges and setbacks and and things, but I've never used, I've never hurt anyone physically, I've never uh threatened anyone.
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Well, I could have a threat, but that's just a threat.
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But I've I've been I've been on the journey.
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The journey still consists of doing a lot.
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But once that happened, the at least the use of a chemical to change my perception of reality left me.
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That what left me was the choice and the decision.
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Really, the decision.
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The choice is always there.
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It's what you decide, because a decision is a choice with action behind it.
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And what I've decided is I will never pick up volitionally a mind-altering chemical.
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Okay, so that part's taken care of.
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I go to prison, I was sentenced to six years for a$10 rock of crack cocaine.
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I went into prison, I said to myself that if I'm the same person going into prison that I am coming out, or I'm the same person coming out that I am going in, I'm gonna have the same results.
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So I had to work on the physical, I had to work on the intellectual, I had to work on the emotional, and I had to work on the spiritual.
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And I work on that.
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And once I did that over the next three years, because a lot I did three years, at least gave me footing to deal with society and the world and my exterior or external world.
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I still had things I had to work on.
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I still had to learn how to be, you know, be a businessman, how to be a leader, how to work with a team, and then also how to deal with some of the things that I had that was baggage that I had since I was a child.
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And I worked on them.
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And I this is my belief.
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I've been good for about four years.
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I mean, I've got to the level, and and this is real important that I say this, John.
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I've said it on a few other occasions.
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Because I am well, I can give out, and that's what I do.
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I give out for free often.
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Or if you're a client, or if you hire me to speak, but I give out.
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I'm not worried about always working on me.
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I'm good with good.
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I'm good with very good.
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I don't need to be great.
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I don't have the capacity to be great.
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I'm 62.
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If I'm gonna be great in anything, I'm gonna be a great grandfather to the kids.
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I'm gonna be a great husband, but I don't worry about being great in business.
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I don't worry about being great on podcasts or speaking.
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I want to be very good so that I can now give this gift to give back to others.
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And again, you talk about that journey, even in those three years, how do you you had to prepare yourself spiritually, emotionally, uh, again, as a leader inside of that space.
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You come out and you know, you probably don't become a successful business person right off the bat when you come out.
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But were there disciplines that you learn there that you still use today to be successful in your business to help you get through those times?
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100%.
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There are lessons that you can learn in the penitentiary if you so choose that will bear well for you.
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You can learn lessons anywhere.
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You can learn them in the street on the streets, you can learn them in the boardroom, you can learn them on the sporting fields.
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I learned things from sports about being a team player, about being a leader on a team.
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But I learned in prison the best thing I learned in prison is how to treat people with respect.
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Because if you don't do it, there will be repercussions.
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And so, what is respect?
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So I'm writing a whole book.
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It's my next book that's coming out, is on respect and disrespect.
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And it's also, and it's talking about respect in the communities, whether it's the boardroom or on the streets or in the family.
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But what does respect mean?
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What is disrespect?
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And how do you increase your respect for others?
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But anyway, respect is one thing, real simple.
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It's acknowledgement of a person's position or stature within a community.
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And the community could be the community of the family.
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We have a thing called when we talk about our elders, our G Ma or grandmothers.
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You know, my children give me, I'm talking the grandchildren, give me respect because I'm the G PA.
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Okay.
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When we talk about on in on the streets, I got respect as a drug dealer because you need to acknowledge my position as a drug dealer.
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When I'm in the boardroom and I'm the board chair, and I've been I've chaired a few boards over the years.
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You respect that.
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I used to tell people, I said, go to your first board meeting and see sit in the board chairperson's seat.
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Try that one, okay?
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Because you're not respecting that individual, usually sits at a certain position where that person can take an input from either side of the room, either the side of the table, whatever.
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But and it's also a position of respect because our eyes are drawn to that individual at the end of the table as the chair.
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Yeah, and there's hundreds of examples, but I learned that, and then there's one last community.
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We are all children of God.
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That's this is my belief.
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I'm not gonna go into you know spiritual or Bible or anything like that, but we're children of God.
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There's a greater community that I will treat you with respect because I will acknowledge that you're a child of God, and therefore I treat everyone with respect.
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Can I love that?
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And as you were going through that respect definition and that level of authority that exists, there was a biblical picture as you said that that came to my mind as you walked through that and understanding that uh it's not about necessarily just position as well, but there's also influence that comes into play there and an overall, you know, golden rule philosophy of uh if we want to be treated a certain way, then we should be respecting and treating others a certain way as well.
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Thank you for sharing that.
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Again, outside of that, from a biblical perspective, I absolutely think it's there in that we're called to respect authority uh as individuals and recognize that.
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Now, again, in your business, the other side of what you've talked about, the success in your business is also mentorship.
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And that's become really important for you on your journey, also, whether it's as a the director or chairman of a board or in and it might be uh in some other space outside of the business.
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Is there a specific story that you have maybe in the past few years in your mentorship?
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And common leaders, hope you're enjoying the episode so far.
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I believe in doing business with people you like and trust and not just a company name.
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That's why a strong personal brand is essential, whether you're an entrepreneur or a leader within a company.
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Brand Builders Group, the folks who have been helping me refine my own personal brand, are offering a free consultation call with one of their expert brand strategists.
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They'll help you identify your uniqueness, craft a compelling story, and develop a step-by-step plan to elevate your impact.
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So head on over to CoachJongGallagher.com slash BBG, as in brand builders group to schedule your free call and take the first step toward building a personal brand that gets you noticed for all the right reasons.